For about 2 wks. I had been having trouble with my left ear to the point I was having trouble hearing and wasn't sure if it was wax buildup or an infection so unsure just how to treat it. I heard it was critical what you do as you could make things worse. While at my mom's drs. appt., I asked the dr. if she would just look at my ear to let me know the diagnosis so I could know what to do. She flat refused and said I would have to make an appt. (which could be another week). My temper flared and I left. I know the dr. was technically right and yet, isn't there room for just helping a patient with your expertise , especially since she IS my primary dr. I left with the feeling that caregivers are just not nearly as cared about as who they take care of and I think that triggered all kinds of stuff from the past. I did try and call the dr. to apologize for my behavior as I felt I was off with the anger, but she was gone for the day.
Was I really way out of line to even ask the dr. about my ear after she was finished taking care of my mom?
I think sometimes I see my mom so excellently taken care of by all and I just wanted to feel cared about as well............but was not.
cadams
I don't think that asking was a horrible breach of etiquette. All the doctor had to do is say No. And he did. That should have ended the matter.
But as caregivers we are under a lot of strain. Stress can cloud our judgment. You were feeling under-cared for. In the overall picture that is probably true. But your doctor following protocol is not really the source of your putting out more care than you are taking in. If you weren't under stress I'll bet you would have known that and not stormed out.
So, apologize. Learn from this episode. Get you needs for being cared for met in other ways. How about a massage on the way home from your ear appointment next week?
Having said that, I see why you would be irritated and frustrated by it - it isn't the money, it's the extra faffing about, the week's delay, the sheer jobsworth inflexibility of the attitude that gets to you. I don't blame you.
If you'd like to stay her patient, I'd drop the doctor a rueful note in a pretty card, apologising and explaining that you were stressed out because it really isn't easy for you to get to any appointment alone. It doesn't excuse our bad behaviour, of course, but any doctor who doesn't understand that caregivers are under extra stress just isn't paying attention.
It has to do with professionalism, responsibilitym, liability and malpractice.
Without knowing anything about your medical history, diseases, conditions and/or medications, she might have given you an answer that might have been erroneous or ignored critical factors. She has a professional responsibility not to do that.
She actually did you a favor by declining to give an opinion. You may have taken her advice and not pursued an issue that required further evaluation.
I agree with the others; apologize, treat it as a lessons learned and move on, but make an appointment for yourself the next time you need medical advice.
However, the patient file would have been pulled just for your mother, not you, so the doctor would still have had to refer to your file for a proper response to your inquiry.
most doctor's schedules for the day allow 15 minutes with their patient and 45 with a physical or new patient. They have to stay on schedule and keep moving or the whole day is running behind. They cannot fully give you attention if you are not on their schedule. They wouldn't have time to order labs or tests......and they don't want to be rushed when seeing you. So please don't feel bad toward your doctor...You do owe them an apology.
cadams
I was tempted to tell my doc about how useless he was with mum but then backed off as i know this is a no no!
I told my own doc how useless mums doc was and she said she couldnt comment as mum was his patient BUT i could see she was horrified. Sorry im confusing things my doc is married and i see her or her husband!