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Jaques you did a wonderful job in careing for your Mom. she was so fortunate to have such a loveing son, who cared not only for her but about her. She is at peace now may you find your own once the grieving is over
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I just now found and read your thread. I was going to comment right off but decided to read it first from beginning to end. I'm so sorry about your mom. My condolences to you. I agree with the other posters here. My mom passed away in March. I've helped father caregive her when I was age 23, that was 24 years ago. And even when she passed away, I never came on here to tell people that I felt as if I didn't do much for her. That I should have done this or done that. I agree that as caregivers, we look back and wish we could have done more. It's part of being caregivers. I'm just soooo glad that I have No Regrets with mom. I did my best for her. And I truly believe, that YOU did your best for your mom. I think you did an excellent job at the best of your ability. Please say this over and over. And I'm positive your mom appreciated you being there with her all the way to the end of her journey. {{ HUGS }} Book
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My heart goes out to you and your family. Demensia or not, she knew that you was always there by her side the whole way. Now ensure to take care of yourself, and live to your fullest..."God Bless You, and Yours.
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Thank you for the posts of support. I'm a man, btw.

Still coming to terms with what's happened. I feel an incredible void right now and it doesn't seem like it will ever be filled. For the past year and half my mom was sick and my whole life revolved around her. When I went to sleep, when I woke up, how much I could sleep (depending on how much she slept), what I ate, making her meals, going to the market thinking about what she would like, lifting her out of bed and onto the commode when she was able, and then changing her diapers when she couldn't, lifting her onto her chair, feeding her, putting her on her bipap, all the people coming and going, dealing with hired caregivers, calling in hopsice and dealing with them, dealing with medication. Man. I realize almost every waking moment of mine was pretty much devoted to her, and when it wasn't, I was worrying about one thing or another related to her. And now she's gone. Just gone. Not coming back. So much finality to it, it's crushing me. I want her back. I walk into her room and her bed is there and it's empty and I start crying, so I'm avoiding her part of the house. I'm not sure what to do with myself. Thanks for listening.
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Jaques, just maybe try to breathe is all I can say, one moment at a time. I feel for you but just a fraction, I recall the first nite mom ever spent in the hospital, I got up without even a thought n headed to the room, only when I got there did I realize she wasn't there. It is the strangest feeling as I think not only the loss as you say the disruption of a comfortable loving labor of love routine...we all need routine..it could be bluntly translated to being fired from your job but emotionally fired for lack of a better analogy. I fear the day I have to walk in your shoes. I cant even imagine the void!
Mom n I, will pray for your strength!!
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A suggestion might be to spend some time writing a biography of her. You could be living with her in memory while getting used to the loss of her physical being. I don't know if it would help.
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well I was thinking I have been listening to this over n over (My Last Days: Zach Sobiech "Clouds" Celebrity Music Video)....If you are a fan of music..it may give you some comfort it is such a inspiration, sorta get out of your own head for a while..its been working for me..maybe you can think of Mom as "Up Up Up in the clouds because the view's a little nicer."
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sorry link was there but it mite be a lil touchy for ya still it is a song of inspiration yet sadness.....if you wish to you can google it!

praying for your family and your strength this morning and thru this entire grieving process you now face. (((HUGZ)))
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Jacques,
What a wonderful gift you were to your Mother. I had a therapist once tell me that humans really are amazing because we choose to love even when we know our loved ones may die before us and that we will, ultimately , be in pain. I don't know why I just thought of that except that you are now enduring that pain. And it is just horrible but it is universal and it will get better. It has to get better--humans would never be able to choose to love in the first place if it didn't.

Try and take it day by day, hour by hour. Let yourself grieve but try and get some sunshine and a little exercise everyday. Surround yourself with friends and family and maybe find a support group in real life(I mean, you got us here! --but maybe a real one would be a good addition)

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please stay in touch here if you can. Let us know how you are doing. We all care. (((hugs)))
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he has been looney tunes for two days. does not comprent anything i say- got a bath tonight after two weeks. barrly walking. moning and groning all day-driving me up the wall-I am so tried-has eaten 4 times today-constant in the kitchen and eating what ever is on the table-wonders around the house all night long-does not sleep-help
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yeah, i would say call her doctor, she may be in pain. that or, i hate to say, shes seeing the light of the other side. prepare for that just in case.
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Call his Dr and describe what's going on,,tell them to admit for evaluation,TONITE
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if you read back a bit, his mum passed.
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Call his Dr,,describe what's going on,,tell them you want him admitted to hospital,,TONITE,,for an evaluation,,have them sedate him,,,they can go for days with no sleep,,which makes it worse for them and the caregiver
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