She never tells me important stuff. Mom's fixation on random unimportant things is starting to drive me nuts! Whether it's things she needs or things she feels need to be done.She will tell me she needs paperbags or something not crucial and then tell me, "no hurry" but from that point on, she constantly asks until I give her what she wants and I do just to shut her up no matter how ridiculous it is. This is constant. It's always something. She lives with me and will panic that the garbage can hasn't been set out for the collectors when it's way too early, is this the dementia getting worse? Sometimes I feel like she is playing me to get me to do whatever she wants and when I finally get irritated and tell her these things are not emergencies and that I will take care of them just not that second, she gets pouty and apologizes and then I feel bad ontop of irritated. Then I get things for her as requested and it isn't quite what she wanted. Sometimes it's all I have not to lose it. I have had discussions about this behavior with her and she agrees that most of her requests are not critical but she goes right back to the same behavior. Anyone else go through this? She never tells me important stuff like she isn't feeling well or she fell until I discover something isn't right.
She is doing this stuff to have some control over her environment, not to drive you crazy. I know exactly the behavior you are referring to, and it is maddening. Try to distract her early, before you get mad.
Would it work to post a list of all of her requests, and then tell her or write down when you will be able to get them for her? She wants to know that someone remembers her thoughts.
And/or medicate her. It would not be in order to shut her up. It would be in order to relieve her anxiety, which is not pleasant for her. Good luck.
I'm going through something right now with my mother. We're having some work done to route water away from the house. She has it in her mind that it is to get rid of the moss in the front yard. When I tell her it won't do that, she gets upset, because getting rid of the moss is more important than protecting the house. Yesterday I told her that she could move to an AL community nearby and wouldn't have to worry about the moss anymore. Oh, boy, did that make her mad.
He comes up with a new item everyday.
Drives us nuts.
Mom and dad both do it. They work each other up into a frenzy.
Keeping a copy of our grocery list on the kitchen counter where she can see it has helped somewhat.
It helps to hear that there are others with a similar situation.
See All Answers