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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Who is the Guardian? A family member? Did you go to the court heariing for guardianship and contest? The only way you can get a guardianship revoked is to go to court. Very expensive.
With all your Mom has wrong with her she needs to be somewhere safe. Her Dementia will get worse. To get guardianship the person had to prove that Mom could no longer make informed decisions. So, a lawyer isn't going to be able to really help. It is no more what she wants, its what she needs. Guardian can keep you from taking Mom out.
What I see that maybe wrong is the guardian giving responsibility to another person. A guardian has responsibilities to the state to show that money has been spent on Mom only and to see her every so often to report how she is doing.
I think you will need to go along with the Guardians decisions. He is in control. When Mom talks about getting out, tell her the AL is now her home. She has a nice room. Doesn't have to worry about cooking or cleaning. People to help her. New friends to make and activities. That she needs more care than any of you can give.
I'd check the facility to see if they have services on site. My LO's MC has several services over the course of the weekend and family members are welcomed to attend along with their LO. Taking a person with mental and physical conditions off site is a huge responsibility and after seeing how my LO has responded, I decided it was not good for her. Returning to the facility, can make some residents confused, anxious, disoriented, etc. There may be a good reason for that decision.
Often, the Ward is not able to make sound decisions about where they should live. Do you know the Guardian? I'd assume the Guardian is making thoughtful decisions on your mother's behalf, but, if you disagree, you MIGHT be able to intervene or maybe not. You may lack standing to contest, but, the attorney should be able to advise you on that. I'm going to assume that family members were considered and for some reason, this Guardian was appointed.
Plus, giving mother a chance to adjust might help things too.
Sorry, I missed the part about the mother's being in Assisted Living.
I'm sorry that your mother's admission into the AL has been so traumatic for her and for you. But it honestly does sound, given that guardianship has been awarded and the admission went ahead without your mother's knowledge, as though things had got seriously out of hand and she may have been at real risk.
When you say your mother's guardian "isn't involved"...
What do you mean, exactly? Have you spoken to the guardian yourself about the visiting issues?
The thing is, if this is a court-appointed guardian, not a family member; and if a dispute has arisen between a caregiving child and other children; then speaking as an outsider I can quite imagine that the guardian would not want to get involved in sibling arguments.
The guardian's job is to oversee your mother's care and ensure that her welfare is supported and her affairs are managed in her best interest. Removing her from an established home, where she is in the charge of an experienced caregiver with a good track record, let's say, is not going to appeal.
It may also be (we're not to know) that there are extremely good reasons for the caregiver's view that it is not safe for your mother to be taken out of the home, even to church. There may be a falls risk, for example; or it may be that on her return she is overtired or hyperactive and is impossible to settle again, which is no joke if it's you who has to deal with that all night and is very bad for your mother if it leaves her wiped out for the rest of the week.
Having said that, your mother has the right to contact with all of her children. You should approach the guardian again and ask how s/he suggests that this right might be protected.
In addition, if you have a serious alternative to suggest, write a proposed care plan and submit that to the guardian.
But I wouldn't hand money to a cheap lawyer. A cheap lawyer will happily take all the money you can scrape together, but it's not likely to get you very far.
Your mom would need to prove she still has the capacity to make her own decisions, which would involve comprehensive testing from more than one doctor. Then you would need to hire a sharp lawyer to overturn the guardianship (or is it POA?). None of it will be cheap. I'm with gladimhere, might it not be better to spend your energy doing what you can to make life in the AL more satisfying for her?
From your profile it sounds like mom is fairly advanced in her disease. That she can express herself does not sound like she is able to make sound decisions for herself. And if she is eating attorneys maybe she is not safe nor are church parishioners. 😉 Many facilities have their own chapels.
There comes a time when it is too hard on the elder to go out and others need to make that decision for them. And often other family members are not happy with the decisions made by the POA. Being POA is a very difficult job and decisions have to be made that are not liked.
How would the dynamic change if you were to support your brother instead of criticise and find fault?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
With all your Mom has wrong with her she needs to be somewhere safe. Her Dementia will get worse. To get guardianship the person had to prove that Mom could no longer make informed decisions. So, a lawyer isn't going to be able to really help. It is no more what she wants, its what she needs. Guardian can keep you from taking Mom out.
What I see that maybe wrong is the guardian giving responsibility to another person. A guardian has responsibilities to the state to show that money has been spent on Mom only and to see her every so often to report how she is doing.
I think you will need to go along with the Guardians decisions. He is in control. When Mom talks about getting out, tell her the AL is now her home. She has a nice room. Doesn't have to worry about cooking or cleaning. People to help her. New friends to make and activities. That she needs more care than any of you can give.
Often, the Ward is not able to make sound decisions about where they should live. Do you know the Guardian? I'd assume the Guardian is making thoughtful decisions on your mother's behalf, but, if you disagree, you MIGHT be able to intervene or maybe not. You may lack standing to contest, but, the attorney should be able to advise you on that. I'm going to assume that family members were considered and for some reason, this Guardian was appointed.
Plus, giving mother a chance to adjust might help things too.
I'm sorry that your mother's admission into the AL has been so traumatic for her and for you. But it honestly does sound, given that guardianship has been awarded and the admission went ahead without your mother's knowledge, as though things had got seriously out of hand and she may have been at real risk.
When did all this happen?
What do you mean, exactly? Have you spoken to the guardian yourself about the visiting issues?
The thing is, if this is a court-appointed guardian, not a family member; and if a dispute has arisen between a caregiving child and other children; then speaking as an outsider I can quite imagine that the guardian would not want to get involved in sibling arguments.
The guardian's job is to oversee your mother's care and ensure that her welfare is supported and her affairs are managed in her best interest. Removing her from an established home, where she is in the charge of an experienced caregiver with a good track record, let's say, is not going to appeal.
It may also be (we're not to know) that there are extremely good reasons for the caregiver's view that it is not safe for your mother to be taken out of the home, even to church. There may be a falls risk, for example; or it may be that on her return she is overtired or hyperactive and is impossible to settle again, which is no joke if it's you who has to deal with that all night and is very bad for your mother if it leaves her wiped out for the rest of the week.
Having said that, your mother has the right to contact with all of her children. You should approach the guardian again and ask how s/he suggests that this right might be protected.
In addition, if you have a serious alternative to suggest, write a proposed care plan and submit that to the guardian.
But I wouldn't hand money to a cheap lawyer. A cheap lawyer will happily take all the money you can scrape together, but it's not likely to get you very far.
I'm with gladimhere, might it not be better to spend your energy doing what you can to make life in the AL more satisfying for her?
There comes a time when it is too hard on the elder to go out and others need to make that decision for them. And often other family members are not happy with the decisions made by the POA. Being POA is a very difficult job and decisions have to be made that are not liked.
How would the dynamic change if you were to support your brother instead of criticise and find fault?