I am my 82-year-old mother's durable healthcare POA. We've had the papers in place for years, but her doctor just activated it yesterday.
She submitted a letter in July to her medical file saying she no longer wanted any testing or medications. When asked about the letter yesterday, she claimed to have no memory of it. This set off the incompetence bells, and the durable healthcare POA was activated.
Mom lives in independent senior housing. She is diabetic. She has no interest in taking her oral medications. Her average daily blood sugar is 347.
I know her wishes. She just wants to be left alone and to live the rest of her time in peace. My role as POA is to make sure her wishes are honored, no matter what, correct?
She has put her wishes in writing, those need to be honored.
I guess you don't have to worry about the doctor anymore, I would ask for a hospice referral before you blow them off. If she isn't going to pursue treatment and that is what her living will states, that doctor can not force her to have treatment.
Best of luck, I am sorry that you are facing all of this. I think most of us will want to just go to sleep and never wake up and barring that, I personally don't want a bunch of medical interventions to keep me alive. I understand how your mom feels.
Remember Drs are trained to save lives no matter what; therefore, you might find yourself going around-and-around with them, but once you say "no" to a Dr then he or she can not touch your mom. (That is the law).
I am sorry about your mom:( Good Luck!
Mom has ALZ. She constantly talks about being ready to die, ready to leave this world she no longer recognizes.
The idea that someone is potentially going to ignore my desires when my time comes is infuriating. There is a reason many Americans incur 80% or more of their lifetime medical cost in their last years...doctors and facilities make their livelihood keeping them alive.
Caregivers should respect their parents wishes. There is a huge difference between 'sustaining life' and 'prolonging death'. Suspect that most here would choose 6 months of quality time at the end vs. 6 years of 'existing' in a facility.
Will there be consequences? Yes. But as you described your mom, I am fairly certain, she knew that when she assigned her POA/medical directive. Ignore the 'advice' from some here to keep mom alive and do what she trusted you to do.
Prayers that she goes peacefully.
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