My sibling cares for my Mom daily - there are some hours she gets to herself, but mostly she requires constant supervision, got to stay one step ahead of her mentally because once she gets on a tear, it's hard to turn her around, just saying that it is mentally and emotionally challenging, and leaves one tired. I live 5 hours away and have left my job and my own family twice this year in order to give my sibling a week away from home. It costs me travel expenses and lost wages. Could this be taken off of taxes somehow? I don't earn that much but I do wonder what's possible. I'd do it whether or not, but if I could save some money, I could go more often and stay longer.
Do not accept payment for that two weeks, then turn around and give it to your sister. That will cause major problems with Medicaid. If sister thinks that it is time for a nursing home, then she has a much more than 40 hour a week job, it is actually a 168 hour a week job. Then consider the overtime. Most caregivers get paid $10.00-$12.00 an hour. Overtime over the course of a year is about $100,000.00. Some states do not permit family members to be paid for care, New York is one. But most states do permit it. In fact they permit transferring parents house without penalty to the child that provided the care if done for a period of two years before a nursing home is necessary and if mom's doctor states 24/7 care is necessary.
Mom helping you buy a house would also be scrutinized by Medicaid. There is a five year look back, and they are talking about making it 10 years. And as far as room and board?! What would mom do if sister wasn't there? A nursing home or assisted living long ago, I'm guessing. Medicaid does not expect caregivers to pay room and board. Maybe sister would have a hard time finding work, but that has nothing to do with this. She has a 24/7 job. What are chances that she would be able to find an employer that would provide the flexibility necessary to do what is needed for your mom? Keep your 50K a year job, allow mom to stay where she is and pay sister to care for her, transfer the house to her. What kind of a pickle would mom be in if sister were not there caring for her? If mom were in a nursing home the cost would be at a minimum $6,000.00 a month.
Sister can be paid to care for mom. An elder law attorney would draw up a contract that is also negotiated with other beneficiaries. Start by getting a geriatric assessment done by a qualified professional that will state mom's needs. You sound as if you are in a conflict of interest position, you know mom needs care, and the care is very costly, but maybe you are afraid of the impact that paying sister for care is going to have on your inheritance? If mom ends up on Medicaid they will go after the house, at least protect it, then work out some sort of an agreement with your sister on what happens with that when mom passes.
I asked my accountant, not even home improvements like expensive ramps to my parents were deductable.
Take Care
L
The taxing on Patience, Mind, Body and even love isn't done once a year but once a day. Your help is beyond words. sibling ? go ahead call them sister or brother.
Who is paying your sister?
If you are relieving her,
then you should get paid as well.
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