My mother is 87 and has had 2 strokes and is suffering from Dementia. Everyday she tells me my granddaughter stole her radio. My Mom has talked to my granddaughter 3 times regarding the radio and she forgets she did. Everyday she wants to talk to her to ask her where her radio is. I tell my Mother no she can not call her and she gets mad at me. She doesn't remember she asked me the same question the day before. I tell her my granddaughter did not steal it because she's never had a radio missing. She cries because she feels I'm taking her side. She forgets we talked about her radio the day before so every day it's a new topic to her. My mother lives with me. I retired 2 years ago to travel and enjoy my camping group but that same month I retired she fell and broke one of her vertebrates. I nursed her back to health and I'm with her 24/7 now. My children help me but my sister doesn't. I'm the only one she feel comfortable with. She doesn't want strangers in her home so hiring someone to be with her is out of the question. She is very picky and opinionated. Taking care of her is a full time job. How do I deal with her accusing my granddaughter everyday. What can I do to make her see there was no such radio missing? Last night she wanted me to drive to her house so she could pick up the radio. She used bad words when she talks about her. Other then my granddaughter we get along. She's happy I'm always with her. I need help.
I would get a nice radio, paint her name on it, or put a sticker or something else to identify it as hers, and tell her you found it in a closet or something.
In general, folks with dementia develop these false beliefs, I've noticed, and that it sometimes happens at the same time of day, every day. It's called sundowning. You should mention it to her doctor. Meds may help if it becomes a big problem for you.
I know it won't be easy getting paid caregivers to come in... my Mom chased them out of her house after 3 days.... my Mom was also is very picky and opinionated, oh my gosh the rude things she would say to those caregivers who were of a different culture.
My Mom made a very snide remark about one caregiver which embarrassed me, and I looked at the caregiver and mouthed "I'm sorry", the caregiver put her finger to her lips as to say don't say anything to your Mom. These experienced caregivers understand it is the generation and the dementia talking.
misslolita, since your Mom is in your home, maybe you can tell her the person coming in is there to help you, not her. And after enough time your Mom will get use to the person and welcome her helping her out .
Thank you everyone for your suggestions.
Thank you...
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