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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Your Mom is at the age where she remembers elders were put into "nursing home" that were asylums. So of course she would refuse to go.
Our elders aren't familiar is what is current out there in the way of Assisted Living or Nursing Homes. I know I couldn't even get my own Mom to even take time and enjoy a lunch at one of these homes to see that many of them are built like a hotel.
Teri, what are the medical issues with your Mom? I assume one is mobility, usually that happens at that age. Any memory issues or is she still sharp? If she is still sharp, tell her she now needs a higher level of care that neither you nor your sisters can do without getting hurt. Moms don't want their children to get hurt.
If you can preview places yourself and bring back brochures that might spark her interest. Gosh, there might be an old friend of hers who lives in one :)
My mom is basically healthy. She uses a walker and a cane, she uses oxoger occasionally and she has a little demensia. She was always adamant towards change. My youngest sister feels she can not do it anymore but this does not change my moms mind.
Then you start by hiring a housekeeper for her once a week. Get her used to one person once a week. Gradually increase the help to meet the need. Then add a bath aide once a week. Slow but sure.
It is more expensive to do at home are. The better option is a facility which she refuses to go. Her life has only revolved around her daughters. She never made efforts for friends.
What if her doctor says that she needs that kind of support now? You might explain that your back isn't getting any younger and that you want to be able to spend time talking, laughing, and having nice visits with her, rather than working around the clock.
If she's mentally sound, you can't force it on her, but, you did say that she has some dementia. She may not be able to process that you are not going to be able to continue providing her care. Eventually, someone will have to take the lead on it. Are you her POA?
It all depends on what she can afford. Take her on a tour of one or two....they don't all look like 1920s insane asylums anymore. One I toured felt like I was on a cruise ship. My father just moved into one. It looks like a 5 star hotel. It isn't cheap...$4500 per month.
Teri, another thing to remember, our parents are always going to think of us as "the kids".... I am also sure my parents still thought I was 30 years old instead of being 70, so they really couldn't understand why I was so tired, unable to climb up ladders, carry heavy bags of mulch around the yard, etc.
One time I was able to not do any driving for my parents or help around their house was when I fell and broke my shoulder. I was out of commission for six months, couldn't drive because I was unable to reach down to put the vehicle into gear, etc. Heck, I was lucky to comb my hair :P So to prove a point, I kept wearing my arm sling around my parents for months on end. That kept them from asking me to do things. I was hoping they would find other means of getting things done.... nope, they just waited until I was completely healed.... [sigh].
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Our elders aren't familiar is what is current out there in the way of Assisted Living or Nursing Homes. I know I couldn't even get my own Mom to even take time and enjoy a lunch at one of these homes to see that many of them are built like a hotel.
Teri, what are the medical issues with your Mom? I assume one is mobility, usually that happens at that age. Any memory issues or is she still sharp? If she is still sharp, tell her she now needs a higher level of care that neither you nor your sisters can do without getting hurt. Moms don't want their children to get hurt.
If you can preview places yourself and bring back brochures that might spark her interest. Gosh, there might be an old friend of hers who lives in one :)
Many nursing homes are still lousy.
If she's mentally sound, you can't force it on her, but, you did say that she has some dementia. She may not be able to process that you are not going to be able to continue providing her care. Eventually, someone will have to take the lead on it. Are you her POA?
One time I was able to not do any driving for my parents or help around their house was when I fell and broke my shoulder. I was out of commission for six months, couldn't drive because I was unable to reach down to put the vehicle into gear, etc. Heck, I was lucky to comb my hair :P So to prove a point, I kept wearing my arm sling around my parents for months on end. That kept them from asking me to do things. I was hoping they would find other means of getting things done.... nope, they just waited until I was completely healed.... [sigh].