I know there is probably nothing I can do. Mom feels that our younger sister KNOWS her so well. Our younger sister also tells us VERY little in regard to Mom, sometimes nothing, other times only the minimum, so we're at her mercy. My elder sister and I are not on the lists, so neither doctors nor the facility will talk to us. I should ask Mom if she could put us on the 'list', but our youngers sister with full health care poa and full poa can change it anyway, ,so it's probably not worth it.
Good luck to you. This is, as you've read, not unusual. But it's painful.
Carol
If your mom is mentally sound than ask her to put you both on "list" and if your sister removes them then really question WHY???? This is about your mothers health not any personally gripes among the 3 of you. Strongly show your concerns of your mother with sister. She is no more her mom than yours. The longer it takes to get resolution the worse the outcome can be. I know from experience. Your mother would want all her girls involved.
My brother likes being "in charge" on paper, but when the situation gets bad he will be screaming for me to help him. I feel if a parent is not going to be up front and try to include all of their children, in some way, even at the very least keeping everyone updated, then the guy with the conctrol does all the work. My brother just blows me off and I don't talk to Mom much anymore. But just wait, those chickens will come home to roost.
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