Calling the office for every little thing. They are not there immediatly she's calling and cussing them out. I'm sure she has dementia but will not cooperate with the dr recomendations. how can I get her into assisted living when she can't afford it? she's very mean and hateful so none of the rest of our family or friends will even associate with her. I'm her daughter but she treats me like a dog. if I'm not working, she thinks I should be with her. I would like to have a life, I have my own family. she's 85
Turn this problem over to professionals, as other posters have advised. I especially like Pam's suggestion about asking the apartment manager to initiate the action. If the manager won't, then do it yourself.
Change the number wherever it is written in her home, such as address books.
In place, write a list of emergency numbers, such as direct to the fire dept.'s local precinct, and even the police (not 911), the office number.
Her care needs will become readily apparent, and yes, someone can be evicted for being a longstanding nuisance or danger to themself and others. Instead of fighting the eviction in a lawsuit, send a carefully selected handyman, or student, to her home 1-2 times a week to take care of minor things. This will, in the long run, be less expensive for whoever is paying. Make it a routine.
Get her treatment. Combative is not a very good sign at all.
Call APS, who will go out, if just to document the crisis she is having.
Would you mind checking in once in a while with how the nursing home is working out? We learn from each other.
Personally, I think the doctor should break the news that she needs to be in the nursing home. Then you can commiserate and comfort her and agree that she needs to be where the doctor decides.
My comment was meant for another post with a troll, not you.
Did not mean to confuse you. So very sorry!