As my stepfather's Lewy Body dementia progresses my mother increasingly pulls away. She's going blind and is always on her iPad, usually with headphones on so it's impossible to communicate. They're both in mid 80s. I always worry that my stepfather might be scared, depressed or lonely. I discuss it with him as is appropriate. He's a wonderful person and rarely in a bad mood. Now my mother wants me to sleep in the bedroom occasionally so she can sleep in the guest room. She's irritated by the television volume or him asking questions during the night. I'm okay with sleeping in there (2 twin adjustable beds) occasionally. If I begin a specific duty it becomes expected of me. More than anything, I want my stepfather to know he is loved by mother. It's hard to take care of two people and be asked to provide the only source of stimulation for my stepdad. It's difficult to occupy his mind because he was introverted prior 2 dementia. He's not going to do puzzles, etc. He's shown interest in the birds and squirrels outside of his window so I'm going to have feeders installed. I show him family albums and YouTube videos that he may find interesting. There's so much more to this story but I'll leave it here for now. Thank you for any feedback. My life sucks. Any advice?
If step dad seems depressed, I'd have him evaluated for depression. His doctor should be able to help with that. It's not uncommon with dementia.
I'd research what to expect as he progresses and determine if you are up for it. It's a lot of work and is stressful. You can read stories about people who do it around here.
Will she allow outside help to come in, because, you'll need help. Perhaps bath aids, respite care, etc. I'm not sure how to make her more invested. It's frustrating to live with some of the behaviors, so, I can understand.
Is mother open to other options? I'm not sure how old you are, but, I'd keep in mind that you may have your needs to pay in retirement, health insurance, social interaction with your own peers, etc. Those are pretty important.