My mother-in-law is mean and hard to deal with and she is a fall risk. She screams and argues with us about everything.
She is on dialysis treatment 3 days a week for 4 hour treatments and when she is home she tries to walk and falls.
She has bumped into the knobs on the gas stove 2 separate times now since last July and turned the gas on accidentally. Once we smelled the gas, we immediately turned off the stove and opened all the doors and windows. She has lost her sense of smell and can not smell anything anymore. She refuses to acknowledge that she has bumped it by accident and both times we called the fire department to come out and check the house for safety.
I have moved out of the house for fear for my own safety because she still tried to turn on the gas stove after we turned off everything, wanting to cook something, with her oxygen on, arguing with us that it was not dangerous because she couldn't smell anything and we were exaggerating. I am afraid that she is going to accidentally turn on the gas on the stove again while everyone is asleep and end up killing everyone in the house. My husband has had to stay to take care of her and I am worried about his safety.
She also can only see out of one eye and in her unsteady state, she has sneaked out of the house and gotten into her car three times and drove somewhere risking the safety of others.
She also fights taking her medication. She has a lot of medication to take and she is tired of the dialysis and medication so it is a constant battle to get her to do what she is supposed to do.
She has gone to a nursing home 2 times from the hospital after a fall and both times she would not stay in the nursing home and left without the doctor's consent. So there are now 2 nursing homes that she cannot return to.
I am racking my brain trying to figure out what to do here. Can someone please help us?
Done? Good. One less thing to worry about.
Guardianship is expensive. Thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees and court costs. As you said, with your husband not working because he's taking care of his mom such an expensive solution would probably be a hardship.
When your mom was in the NH and she decided to leave how did she get home? Did someone pick her up and bring her home?
If you are able to prevent her from leaving a NH (by prohibiting anyone from picking her up and bringing her home) I would suggest you wait until she falls again and call 911. Get her to the hospital as you did before and get the ball rolling again to have her placed in a NH. But see if you can get her placed in a memory care unit. The doors are locked and she won't be able to get out to come home. With her yelling and fighting you and fiddling around with the stove it sounds like she has dementia and would be eligible for a memory care unit.