My mother in law (65) who is poor with no savings, is diabetic, vision is going, and having problems walking long distances is going to need care soon. I would consider helping, but there is no way as I am 130, and she is over 300 lbs. I have been told medicare only covers nursing homes, not assisted living. The doctors most likely are not going to tell medicare she needs a nursing home in the near future, but she will be needing care from someone sooner than when she would be nursing home ready. My husband and I are medium income people with two teens still in the house dealing with teen auto ins, and college in their futures. We really can't afford to fund her assisted living as it would eat 2/3rds of our salary and there is no way I could assist her and support her weight in the bathroom. Any one have any ideas of possible solutions that we just are not thinking of?
If your MIL ends up in the hospital with the next stop being a nursing home Medicare (as opposed to Medicaid) will pay for your mom's rehab for x days and that's usually when the Medicaid process is begun. If, at the end of that time period, Medicaid has yet to render their decision the nursing home/rehab will usually allow the person to stay while the Medicaid is pending.
This is how it is here in Missouri. You're dealing with California and Nevada and the rules may differ some.
It's never too early to start gathering information and come up with some semblance of a plan. Many people have to make these decisions in the midst of a crisis where tensions are running high and they are under a lot of stress. That's how I went through it-- baptism by fire.
There may be financial help if she or her husband are veterans. I would suggest you start with your county office of aging. They should be able to pre-screen for services she might qualify for.
Do start with her county office of aging, as geewiz suggests. Another thing to consider is whether she wants to stay in California or whether living nearer to you would be better. Look into the benefits in each place. Medicaid benefits don't transfer from state to state, so if she moves after she is on Medicaid she will have to apply all over again in Nevada. This isn't the end of the world and she would no doubt qualify again, but it is worth thinking ahead about.
By "nearer to you," I don't mean "in your home." That would be disastrous. Don't even consider that for short term.
You are providing a loving service by looking out for her needs.
And if she is considered to be disabled, due to some medical condition, it might open the door for more benefits. That would be up to her doctor, so, I'd make sure the doctor knows the extent of her ability to use toilet, prepare meals, bathe, etc.
Some states provide benefits for AL if a doctor says it's needed, assuming they meet the income and asset requirements. You can check with CA and your state to see about that.
Thanks for the adive everyone has given and in letting me vent of the situation we seem to of been thrown into by moving back to this area after my husbands 20 years of service. Maybe we should of moved somewhere else.
I don't know what kind of relationship your husband has had with MIL, or how you feel about her. If you are inclined to be compassionate, I suggest that you do what you can to provide her some comfort, by helping identify what resources are available to her. Giving her an allowance seems to me out of the question. Paying car expenses is not your responsibility -- and if she is having vision problems may be a risky idea even if she could afford it on her own. But tracking down what low-cost transportation is available to her and encouraging her to use it is a way to help relieve her boredom.
(My mother and her sister, both widows, lived in subsidized housing complexes in different suburbs. They kept track of the schedule of the free buses a local casino operated and occasionally they'd arrange to catch the same bus and spend the afternoon at the casino and have a free ride back. This could be risky for some people, of course, but they had a great meal, talked and laughed with other folks on the bus, and only took a small amount of money to gamble with. They didn't just sit around complaining of boredom.)
Adult Day Health Programs usually provide transportation to and from the program, a hot meal, activities, social interactions, and many of them have services such as toenail care or help with showers. Is anything like this available to your MIL? Medicaid covers this, in some states at least.
You MIL has had a hard life (in her eyes at least) and could use a little comfort now. The contribution you and your husband could make, I think, is research and encouragement. That is a little complicated in that you don't live in her county, but the internet makes this kind of task much easier than it has ever been.
Good luck to you all! Stay in touch here.
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