She lives with my husband's younger brother and wife and accuses them of taking her things, wanting her to leave. Just recently she fell and while in rehab was acting ok but after being home for a month or so the accusations and nasty comments are back. Plus now she gives them a hard time about using her walker and taking her medicine. She has been checked by drs. And they say it is the beginning of dementia. She takes a low dosage of seriquil for paranoia but evidently it isn't working! They don't want to spend the next few years dealing with this but we don't know what other options are out there. She does not have any money for assisted living but makes a little too much for Medicaid. Any one else dealing or has dealt with this?
My husband's paranoia and accusations lasted a few months. He did very well on several medications. (Not everyone responds as well.) His pleasant personality returned and stayed with him for the rest of the dementia journey.
I suggest two things for your BIL and his wife to do:
1) Start looking at suitable care centers for MIL. Explore how MIL could afford these places, what kind of financial assistance she'd need, etc. Contact an attorney who specializes in Elder Law for guidance. BTW, MIL should be paying for room and board and possibly care. Discuss that with the attorney, too.
2) Make sure MIL is seen by experienced dementia care providers. If there is a dementia specialty practice any where in the area, it would be worth traveling some distance for an evaluation. As I said, not everyone can be helped with medications, but when they work they can make a world of difference. In my opinion it worth giving a good hard try. It could make her stay with BIL more pleasant, and also help her behavior in a care center, if there is something that works.
If MIL is not basically a pleasant person to start with then I think the search for a care center and a way to pay for it is more urgent.
I noticed a good change in my mother as soon as she was taken off the Seriquil. - but it will take a while for the Depacote to kick in -
My mother is in a nursing home but doesn't trust any of the workers, think that they take her things and she is scared a lot. We are hoping this drug will work for the paranoia and distrust of everyone - praying a lot! Good luck with your mother-in-law.
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