Follow
Share

It's as if she is telling it for the first time. My husband told her that he talked to a co worker about a specific restaurant and they liked it. 15 minutes later she told us the exact same thing my husband just said, we new she was lying, she does this all the time. repeating what me or my husband says.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

17 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Right here on this website are very informative articles regarding Alzheimer's/Dementia which sounds like what your Mom-in-law has. Click on https://www.agingcare.com/Alzheimers-Dementia and scroll down to the articles.

Being armed with as much knowledge as you can use will help you and hubby understand what is going on with his Mom. Mom isn't lying..... she has memory issues.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
That's right. Mom, if she has dementia, is not lying. Her brain isn't working properly. She doesn't remember what was just said minutes earlier. It's quite common. I would read a lot about that condition so you don't blame her or think she is doing it on purpose. It must be very confusing to the patient. They must have our patience and understanding.

Since she's in Independent living, I might check to see how she's really doing. One the dementia reaches certain stages, the patient may have difficulty without daily assistance, since they forget to take meds, bathe, eat, pay bills, etc. Eventually, she may need more direct supervision. She may not be able to tell you that.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
My mom exhibited this exact behavior years before it became apparent that she has dementia. I look back now with the realization that this was dementia in it early stages. I wish I knew this then. Though it probably would not have changed the course of her disease to get earlier treatment, it would have changed my mindset and made me more compassionate.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
My mom does the same thing,,, she is 93,, she keeps saying the same thing oer and over What day is this what time is it change the channel, I want to see Lawrence Welk,, I say he's not on today,, 10 minutes later she asks me to look again,, I got dean Martin shows on tape she watches somedays she is good with it ,, never remembers she saw the same 5 shows the day before but it quiets her down, and always says its raining out,, meantime I am going nuts
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Nothing can prepare us for what we experience when dealing with the dementia of our elderly loved ones. Not many of the advanced college degrees or professional accolades we earn during our life can help us deal with the mind numbing repetition of questions day after day. What really saddens me, though, is feeling invisible. By this I mean, being asked the same questions over and over, and seeing the look of blankness in our loved ones eyes as we try to talk and share everyday things. I might as well be hundreds of miles away.
But in the end, we take on the responsibility of caregiving for a reason. Deep down our conscience won't allow anything else. So, we dig deep and put one foot in front of the other. This will pass someday, and our heart will be content we stayed the course.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Through the long years of my father's mid-stage of Alzheimer's, he often listened with deep interest to things I would tell him, then pass on that story to another, or even back to me, as his own story. By his telling, at age 90 he ran a marathon, gave lectures to university students, and traveled to Europe and Africa. When he first did this, I was troubled. But it settled in on me that this man who had once lived a very exciting life, found excitement in my activities, and, having lost the ability to differentiate, "owned" the story which he felt deserved to be re-told. No real harm was caused by the misrepresentation, and very few people believed it. In retrospect, I'm a bit honored that he so appreciated my activities that he took possession of them.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
I've not dealt with the parroting, but I can imagine it is as irritating as the repetitive questions and comments I do get from my mother. She doesn't remember asking from one minute to the next - sometimes she will say "oh, I remember now" after the umpteenth time, and ask again in a bit. Some days I can handle it and others I'm not very patient. She doesn't get out like she used to (by choice - I try!) so her social contacts are few, and topics for discussion become pretty sparse beyond what was in the paper or on TV. I suspect that may be the case for your MIL, and not recalling who she heard it from, brings up what you've just talked about for conversation, thinking it it fresh and new to you!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
How about picking your battles?

I'm guessing your mom-in-law has little to talk about. What's the harm?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My own mother has a history of narcissistic behavior, she is dramatic and I suspect has ADD. Now that she is 80, probably mix in some dementia. I have seen her be later sharp when something is of interest to her, i.e., puts her in the spotlight or is a subject she wants to hear about. Otherwise, it's in one ear and out the other. The thing is, it has ALWAYS been this way with her, although my theory is this - "as we get older we become 'more' of ourselves". She is more self centered, more nasty, more conniving, and more forgetful (if that's what it is). She has always carefully chosen her moments and 'victims' which says to me she has enough cognitive ability to pick and choose. Probably 16 years ago my brother nd his wife came back from a cruise and were attending a party which my parents also attended. My brother and SIL had been on many cruises and lived in my parents neighborhood and saw each other not infrequently. In other words, my mother knew they liked to take cruises and did regularly. Within fifteen minutes of being in on a discussion about their cruise, my mother asked my sister in law if she had ever BEEN on a cruise. My mother is also a person who will call someone up, spend fifteen minutes talking about something or someone she wants to talk about and then say "well, I gotta go!" and that's it. She pulls this no matter what the person she has called is going through - recent child born, a divorce, money issues, illness, death of someone close to them. She simply does not care if it doesn't directly affect her. I guess my point here is that if this is new behavior for your MIL, that's one thing. I would look at her over all personality and how she normally is with other people. Also her hearing might be an issue, if she only catches snippets of conversations. Hearing loss is a very embarrassing thing for some reason to some elderly people.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Again thanks for all your answer some of them work some don't,,,
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
All I can say is Amen to irishspirit25
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Today Mom wants to get her hair done,,, just a trim and then go food shopping She is 93 and falls a lot says she'll be ok,, but if she falls I get blamed by her and everybody else saying why did you take her,,, I'll take her to her hairdresser but the food store sucks she bangs into everything,,, Keeps telling everybody wish this cart had a horn , One day I couldn't find her she went down the frozen food row somehow got in the ice cream door Scared the daylights out of me but I'll try
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Smile and nod. And have her evaluated for meds to ease agitation. She's probably as uncomfortable with this as you are but can't help herself.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Everyone is different and at the same time, similar! Not easy no matter what. God bless and best of luck.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My mom with mid-stage dementia does the same thing. It is impossible at the stage to have any kind of normal conversation with her. I've interpreted (right or wrong) this as her attempt at communication. We try to fill in the blanks and turn her repeated responses into a running dialog for a few minutes. She seems to appreciate the effort. Yes it is irritating, but try to realize how terrible it must be for someone to lose the ability of self expression.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
She has "echolalia" which is repeating what is said previously. In dementia, one can repeat the question or answer because they have truly forgotten the answer. This is the nature of the disease, and you must have patience, patience and more patience. When it gets too bad, distract her, or you leave. But, do not ever blame a person for repeating...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
This is not normal behavior and I am surprised it's happening this young. Get her seen by a psychiatrist STAT!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter