When she wipes herself she pushes fecal matter into her urethra, which causes yet another bladder infection. She gets it on her hands and just wipes it off on anything on top of the dryer. Then she says 'see my hands are clean'. Sometimes she gets it all over the toilet seat and if I'm not there will attempt to wipe most of it off with dry t.p. Anyway long story short, I've concluded that I have to be in the room with her when she uses the bathroom and I wipe and clean her backside while she holds onto the grab bar, then she wipes the front, but I put a cloth over her anus so she won't touch it. Sorry I know this is graphic... and she's really angry at me. We only have one bathroom and I can't have smeared feces all over the place, I just can't deal with the thought of it, plus I'm trying to stop new bladder infections from starting. What else can I do?? Any thoughts?
You are doing the right thing.
Don’t discuss it, don’t listen to anything she says, keep her clean and safe.
Have you tried pre moistened FLUSHABLE wipes? If you leave them in the toilet for a minute or two before flushing they pretty much dissolve.
https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/general-science/not-advertised-case-against-flushable-wipes