My mom is 93, still lives in her condo apartment and is in relatively good health, except for arthritis aches and pains. She is legally blind and uses a walker but is quite independent and social.
I've always been her main "go to" person for grocery shopping, appointments, etc. My brother does help out occasionally. I am self-employed and I have VERY few days off each year. When I do go on vacation, it's only for two or three days at a time. Almost every time I start preparing to go away, mom starts to angst. She makes up fictitious ailments, tells me she's not feeling well, tells me she will feel alone. Meanwhile, as I said, she lives in a condo building. There are people around her all the time. The residents look out for each other AND she has more of a social life than I do, playing cards every night, going out to lunch with friends, going to church activities, etc. My brother and my husband are available to her when I'm away if she has any emergencies.
I try to not let her neediness get to me, but It's hard. Truth be told, I need a break from her, too, because she's a very impatient woman and treats me like a servant.
Just thought I'd have a little vent. Thanks for listening!
Now I KNOW I am going to have a serious problem next time I want a holiday given that Islamic State has claimed responsibility for the massacre of 30 Brits in Tunisia. Mother has already said now you know why I dont want you to go on holiday abroad...why can't you go locally then I could go with you and we could both have a break... erm thinks me how is that a break for me!!! Bless her
I deal with it this way (and only because the doctor in charge of her dementia did it for me the first time) Your daughter he said looks after your needs all the time she is there for you whenever you need her and she has to be able to have some time when she is not responsible for you or she will become ill. So you have to be very sensible and let her have a holiday. That way she will come back refreshed with lots to tell you and I am sure she will take some photos so you can see how much she relaxed on that little break . It's good for you too because you need to keep your independence as much as you can.
I do have to say it quite a lot - mum forgets (or chooses to forget) youwill have to put up with her telling everyone how you are leaving her alone yada yada but stay strong and go