My Mother is in a memory care nursing home in VT and my sister has guardianship. I live in Texas and am thinking about bringing my mom into our home thinking she will thrive better in a family setting. How easy is it to get guardianship in Texas? If my wife quits her job to stay with her is she able to get compensated through my mother?
I think it is wonderful that you want your mother to be as happy as possible. Too often we lose the human-ness of the elder with dementia. I am glad that you still see that. If your sister has been with her in VT, I would listen to the things that she says about her condition and work together to accomplish what you feel is best for your mother.
If you'll let us know a bit more about your mother, her history, and why she is in memory care, someone may have ideas about what might be best or possible. The main goal would be to keep your mother as safe and content as possible under unfortunate circumstances.
Please check out these excellent articles about Dementia/Alzheimer's to help give you an idea of what the future will be like, mainly for your wife. Go to the blue bar near the top of the page, click on SENIOR LIVING, now click on Alzheimer's CARE, now scroll down to the articles.
I would talk with her physician about how much longer care at home (with LOTS of home health care help coming in) is going to be feasible. Are you (and your wife) really up for doubke incontinence?
You will also need to make your home elder proof. Is there a bedroom and bath on the main floor? Are there grab bars in the tub/shower and at the toilet? Are the hallways and doorway wide enough for a walker or wheelchair? If you have thick carpeting and padding, that would need to be replaced as it is difficult to walk with a walker on such carpeting. Please note, falls will happen. Are there steps up to the front door or from the garage, if so, a ramp might be needed. The list goes on and on.
Please note that 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the person they were caring. Those are terrible odds. What if something happens to your wife? Would you be willing to quit your job and be your Mother's full-time 168 hour a week caregiver?
I'm in favour of home care, it isn't that I disapprove. My major reservation about this move is that you need to look on it as irreversible; but then what happens if you find that it isn't working? You can't just wrap your mother up and post her back to Vermont (? is that right? - I'm not good on states). Do you have a memory care facility near you if it proves impossible to manage at home?
I'm sorry to be negative, but it sounds pretty fraught unless you've got expertise to draw on as well as enthusiasm. Let us know how you're getting on, anyway.
Good luck on getting these things done. I know your original question was if the procedure was easy. Guardianship is never really easy or inexpensive, since it does have to go through the courts. Your mother should have the letters and transcripts from her previous competency and guardianship review. I hope the TX courts will accept those. It will make it easier on you.
As others have asked, what are your Mom's other medical issues that she would need to have been in a nursing home. Or were you using the words "nursing home" as a generic term?
These two pieces of information don't go together.
Does your home have other serious illnesses that require skilled nursing care? Cancer? COPD? What?
The usual reasons for placing a nursing home resident in the memory care unit are wandering or very disruptive behavior or behavior that requires addition attention to direct. Does one of those reasons apply to your mother?
How long has your mother been where she now resides?
Living with family can be very successful. And it can be very disastrous. It would help know the medical background a little better to discuss this.
1. Either her dementia is much more advanced than you are being told or
2. Mom is barely into the disease and no wonder she's not thriving in memory care!
The real question is to clarify mom's needs (not necessarily her desires) before you commit to moving her. I think you may need to do some detective work with her doctors. One possible scenario is that mom had a stroke or serious injury, was incompetent temporarily but is now substantially recovered.
Proceed with caution.
Please reread Pam's post. TX has one of the lowest reinbursement rates for medicaid services. So if she is needing medicaid to pay, the options may not be as nice or comprehensive in care as VT whether its services at a clinic or doctors office or in a facility. Really get out there and find out the costs on memory units and what they require for admission & open bed probability as well as find docs who are taking new psych patients for those living at home.
Realize that just being family does not automatically mean you will get guardianship. What often happens for TX probate court where guardianships are heard, is that the judge will appoint an temporary outside court appointed guardian (usually for these situations of 1 state legal to another state legal will be an atty) when there is a bridging of guardianship from 1 state to another. And this person will determine the living situation. Not you or your mom. TX has a pretty established vetted guardianship system for the judge to use too.
So your mom is disruptive & has escaped a facility......well I'd bet that any review of her charts is going to show she has to be in a locked down memory care facility with trained staff for her own safety. For TX, it's going to be private pay to find this as Medicaid funding will be first & foremost in a traditional NH & internal medicine guys.
For a comprehensive gerontology practice who take Medicaid, those are probably going to be within UTHSC or @ TMC as gerontology is part of the medical school and teaching hospital system for these. My mom was in one at UTHSC -SA and the waiting list for initial appointment was 6 mos. My mom got a speed pass as her orthopedic surgeon was faculty and he required a gerontology sign off on her surgical clearance before he did her BCBS paid rotor cuff repair surgery, so mom got in & stayed a Geri clinic patient. And this was over a decade ago.
Really do your homework before you take her out of her memory care.
So what was the backstory as to why Sissy was appointed? Mental health issues....or was APS involved....or other endangerment concerns? What happened that made guardianship required?
Realize that judges do NOT have to appoint family as the guardian. It is not "a family decision", it is a judges decision on guardianship. In my experience, judges prefer to name family as guardian but will appoint a temporary outside court appointed guardian if there is any concerns on their part. A judge doesn't want to hear "we'll decide what best for mom" coming from family in their courtroom.