She is NOT wanting us to see each other, so doesn't tell me WHEN they are here. I am the main one here, who has taken care of her and dad for over 10 years. (Dad passed away 2 years ago.) She is lying to me and NOT wanting me to be involved with her and my siblings and/or relatives that come into town for a visit. I find out AFTER the visit that they were here.........For a QUICK visit, she always says! BUT, she expects me to include her in all of my guest and family members who visit from afar! I think she is playing us against each other! Help! Is this part of dementia?
My point is it could be a kind of paranoia and fear that all the kids may compare notes, get on the same page, discuss - openly and honestly - what can and should happen. (loss of control).
For me, once all of us got together....we had not been all together for almost 7 years....we all forgave each other of a lot of baggage that was carried around, much perpetuated by the father.
My rambling point is this: I encourage you to reach out to siblings, make sure everyone knows everything and make a point to get together, even with a conference call or group email so that you have the opportunity to get on the same page as to the health, condition and outlook for your parent.