His kids say she can't put him back in. My stepdad needs to go to a nursing home but he doesn't want to go back in. My mom signed him out one year ago and taking care of him is too much even with hospice coming in. His kids say they talked to a lawyer and she can't make him go back into a nursing home that it's his right to stay in the house. The home is my mothers. Can my mother legally put him back into the nursing home? We are in Toledo OH Step dad is on Hospice and has Parkinson's
How much are you able to help with care, if his kids just won't or can't?
His right to stay in the house is a separate issue: it may belong to her, but you're then into the realm of marital property, aren't you, and could he have acquired a claim on it? Perhaps she would be well advised to seek legal advice of her own on that point.
Whomever holds the power of attorney holds the cards. If there is none, it's going to be tough going with a non-stop battle of opinions, hurt feelings, grudges, and ugly. I am so, so sorry.
Has anybody sat mom & dad down to find out what THEY want? Maybe they can be in a place together, and both be cared for how they need - together. There are places that have this setup so spouses can be together as long as possible. There's a couple at the place my mom is at. The man lives in the AL unit and his wife is in the locked dementia unit now, but she had been in the AL apartment with him. He puts on a suit and tie every day to go visit her. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Being 86 years old, or even 66 years old, it is exhausting work caring for a love one day in and day out, 24 hours a day. Sadly 33% of caregiver die leaving behind that love one.... those are not good odds. Then what would his children do? Come running to take care of him, sharing all 3 shifts? Probably not.
Have your Mom talk to her own primary doctor, explain what is going on. The doctor might suggest your Mom take a break for a couple of weeks... and she needs to tell his children that they need to come to help out while she is away, on doctor's orders. Would it be possible for your Mom to stay with you or another relative for those two weeks? Maybe then the step-children will for once in their life understand how much work is involved caring for their Dad.
Hope everything works out for your Mom.