I recently drove my mother to the emergency room after a fall and she refused to get out of the car. The nurses at the emergency room explained that they could not force her to receive care, even though she was bleeding and bruised. She fell again a few days ago and cracked her forehead open. I am sure she needs stitches, but she refuses to get medical care for the injury. My mother also refuses to see her doctor and therefore is not taking the blood pressure medicine that is prescribed to her.
I very much resent her putting me into this position of worrying about her health and not helping me with doctor appointments and care for when she falls and injures herself, but what can I do?
Next time your mom falls, and she will, just hand it off to the EMT's. Say, "Mom, they have to take you in, I'm sorry, I'll come behind and check on you". While she's in get her checked out and see if you can facilitate a reason for her to remain in the hospital for a couple of days. Yes, it's a bit sneaky, and she'll probably be mad at you, but you need to know what's going on with her.
You'd be surprised just how many elderly people have this happen to them. Once under a Dr's care, you can be her advocate and get some answers.
Or you can do nothing and the same thing will keep happening. I know it's hard to parent your parent. I think like 99% of us here feel that burden and the way it just feels "wrong". But....you need to know what her basic health is. If she's combative, put earplugs in. She's throwing a good old temper tantrum!
That way, you cover yourself against charges that you neglected her medical care. EMS comes, evaluates, if she refuses transport and they feel she's in danger, they report. Good outcomes all around, imo.
Do you think she's afraid of what might be found out? I note she underwent treatment for colon cancer a while back.
But anyway, if you can get to the bottom of her reasons for avoiding care it'll give you somewhere to start.
Thank you freqflyer, for the Medicare fib suggestion. I will try it.
Next time Mom falls, call 911... hopefully some young fellows will show up at the door to give Mom a lot of attention.
I had the opposite problem with my very elderly parents, they had too many doctor appointments to a point where I wanted to scream if I saw another doctor's waiting room and more forms to fill out !!