It is becoming hard to keep up with her pace, not only for my elderly father, but for me as well. If we are for instance eating together, she quickly finishes her meal and starts to get restless so that we feel we have to finish quickly and help her remove everything from the table to do the washing, etc. If she goes out, we barely arrive and she states she is ready to leave. My father cannot keep up with her anymore and neither can I. She seems unware of it and totally disregards other people's needs. I am in charge of my elderly parents, who are in their 80s. Thank you so much. Beatriz
I'm so sorry to hear what is happening with your mom. I wonder if this recent personality change is related to any meds she might be taking. Or is she depressed or anxious about something. Vascular dementia? I would ask her doctor and see if they can make some suggestions for this change in her. I know its a lot on you to care for both your parents. Its hard to see a change.
If your mom is finished eating, then I would let her be. And you and your dad should continue to take your time and finish your meal. Maybe consider leaving her at home for some errands now till you can figure out why she is all of sudden feeling rushed.
Similarly, drivers of both sexes wrote in about fears of running out of gas - some held their breath, some drove faster to get the journey over quicker, one lady turned the radio up louder (!).
So this makes me wonder - is your mother experiencing a kind of panic? An urgent need to crack on with everything before time or health runs out?
Without knowing your mother it's difficult to suggest how you might broach the subject. Is it possible for you to get her alone for a general heart-to-heart, and see if you can work round to how she is feeling about life?
If she won't discuss her health at all it must make life a bit difficult. Can you also be "firm" (I like that word!) with her about your and your father's Need To Know? Privacy and confidentiality are her right, of course, but she does also have to consider your legitimate concerns - no woman is an island, and all that.