My mother, 86, dementia and in a memory care facility for a month, cusses and screams at me when I leave after a visit. She tells me never to come back and that she has always hated me. She does this to my two sisters when they leave too. What can we do to ease the drama when we leave?
As some of us have learned, it does no good to reason or argue with them...it doesn’t help or resolve anything and only makes us angry and damages our own health. So take your power back and realize she can’t have power over you if you don’t let her.
lemon pie and a milkshake for me I'd be thrilled beyond words. Reminds me of visiting my girl in mc with strawberry milkshakes. Sometimes it would be him, dh, sil, me and a couple others having shakes. Curse the Mickey d's when their shake machine was down. Thanks for the pleasant memory jog. Barney was a lovely person and is greatly missed. I hope we all have some good moments today.
Sanity for the caregivers, and their los.
I'm still working on my answers. LOL
Above all, try to keep in mind that she has dementia, and thus is not capable of controlling what she says, and be grateful of times when she is more pleasant.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
I think I will try to have the aides distract her and just leave without saying good-bye. I’ll see how it goes today.
I either waited til she was asleep or slipped out the door without her seeing
A good facility will try to distract your loved one when you leave
Each person's journey with dementia is different but my mom to this day tells me she does not like her facility - she is now immobile and in the hospital for the third time since August
I’m sure it’s very frustrating for her to have you leave her behind and she isnt able to control her emotions.
If she is happy to see you when you arrive, try to focus on that when you think back over the visit. It’s a very hard time for your family. I’m sorry.
I'm so sorry to hear about what your mom says when you leave after a visit. Have you tried talking to the nurse or doctor about this? I know its really hard when dealing with advanced dementia. I hope others can give more insight.