HELP! My Mother has a bedside commode that she uses often and seems very comfortable with - but lately she seems to like using the floor just as much. I put down bed pads (the heavy ones nursing homes use) as well as store bought ones underneath and she moves them. This evening I opened her nightstand drawer (full of cards, mementos, jewelry, etc.) to find that she had peed in a paper cup and everything was soaked. I am beside myself. What can I do? What am I doing wrong?
Check out Amazon for senior incontinence onsies and other products. I swear they have EVERYTHING you can think of! I bought my mother an adult onsie (like the snap bottom T-shirts for babies) but she got the snaps undone. It's good to hold the diaper in place on a disabled person without dementia. I suppose you can turn it backwards to have the snaps in the back?
And here are big bear hugs to make you feel better.
((((((💚💛 🐻💜 💙))))))
Heartsick,
OMG, We had to do the duct tape thing too! Oh, I'm so glad to hear someone else did that!!! It was the ONLY way she'd keep her pants on. We felt so bad "tapeing her up" every night but I couldn't risk her urinating everywhere. Thanks for posting on that! 😀
The duct tape has worked well for me and he doesn’t seem to mind it.
Now I don’t stay awake and try to hold his hands😐🙂
I took her to be checked for a UTI, but she couldn't go at the clinic. Hoping to get a sample at home. I think she has one, from her odd behavior.
Bless you for the love and care you gave your Mother. You must have a very special husband, to help you.
Again, check with a lawyer connected with an ElderCare for the best possibilities for you both.
Thanks for sharing and thanks for the encouragement.
mom sounds as if she’s lost the capacity to comprehend the logical steps to toilet herself. It’s nothing you have any control over.
Try incontinence pads or depends underwear. Instead of pads on the bed, try putting a waterproof mattress cover, OR put the pads under the sheet.(it won’t save the sheet, but it’s better than nothing)
ive taken all dad’s undies away and replaced them with depends. The only problem, is dad wears them for DAYS at a time. They end up completely saturated and dripping. He refuses to change, and soaks everything he sits on. I cover everything with plastic and towels, and sometimes “show him” the wet towel to get him to finally change. My next step is a home health aide who might be able to get him to change at least once a day!
Good luck!
Unfortunately, this situation doesn’t get better. Once it begins, it spirals downward..... but, it’s not your fault!!
When my mom became incontinent, we encouraged her to stay in the bed during the night. We would definitely decrease fluids at night, but be careful to increase them during the day to avoid dehydration, etc. Then, every night before bedtime, we would let her stay on the toilet to empty her bladder well and tell her “sleep well and don’t get out of the bed because we don’t want you to fall.” (When they become disoriented to do things that lack common logic, then they become higher risks for a fall.) My mom’s caregiver encouraged me to train her and just keep toileting her well before bedtime and keep reminding her every night to stay in bed. Mom wore depends and we used a washable urine pad and sometimes used disposable ones. Anyway, she listened and stayed in the bed! This way, we rested well and she did too. The only thing was that she would be soiled in the morning but we would bathe/change her clothes in the morning. Hope that helps you!! His Blessings to you and your family!
Blessings to you too!
Reduce the amount of liquid intake at least two hours before bedtime. No caffeinated drinks at dinner time. Depends, if she would wear them would be wonderful. Maybe a one piece suit at night so that she would not have access to the shorts.
By hook or crook, take her to the bathroom before bed time. Give her enough time to go, longer than she usually needs. Stay with her and sing to her or talk about good memories, reminisce, whatever to keep her on the toilet for the time you deem necessary.
Just in case, use a large underpad, something which is strong and holds enough urine discharge underneath her bed sheet. She would not have access to it to take it out. At least, if the bed get soiled, it will be just the bed sheet.
Good luck.
https://www.silverts.com/alzheimers-clothing/
So yes, I am very depressed and anxious. I get thru by taking one day at a time. I’ve learned to say no to some of Hubby’s orders/requests if I don’t feel like it. I’m still-looking for a solution, like everyone else on this forum.
Promises of never are unfair to all involved, no one wants to live in a facility, but would your mom really want to put you through this?
If they need care more than likely their house will need to be sold for their care, so your brother could not just take it. If he has been there, uninvited you will have a fight on your hands for sure but, he doesn't have any rights to their house.
Can you get some respite before you have to make any decisions?
After a good rest I would focus on getting them the care they need and let the rest shake out from what that requires.
Hugs for all you do!
My Dad has his own house and I deeded my Mother's house to my brother. I want him to have it.
For now, I'm just doing my best - one day at a time - and trusting God for the rest. Pun intended. Thank you. 💚
Janet 💙
Peeing in inappropriate places is not a reason (yet) for putting her in a facility. Is it possible she’s confused and doesn’t know if she should just wet her Depends or sit on the commode? I’m fearful of uncarpeted floors. When they’re wet they can become nasty slippery. There are very large rubber mats available st office supply places and home improvement stores that can be mopped up and Mom wouldn’t be able to move it.
Trust yourself to know when its time I have confidence that you “got this” for Mom.
Yep - I'm on that trip. Do you ever experience depression or anxiety while caring for your LO? How do you cope? Forgive me if I'm being too personal.
I really understand how you feel, but we have to be ready to say, I can't do it all. Mom is only going to get worse. If Dad is not showing signs yet of Dementia, he may. Parkinsons and Dementia go together. I would not wait until you get drastically overwhelmed to make a decision about Mom. If your parents have no money for an AL, then talk to Medicaid. If your brother is disabled or had other problems he maybe able to staynin the house. I found I just wasn't a caregiver. I went around at the different facilities near me and took tours. When I walked into the last one, I knew this is where Mom had to be. She had the best care there. The aides and staff loved her. Even though she was not able to participatevinvall the activites, they still included her. One person really cannot do it all. It does take a village.
What's the story with your brother? Maybe she could move back to her home and he could take care of her?
You have done nothing wrong. My mother did exactly the same thing. She'd get up in the middle of the night, take off her pajamas and urinate on the bedroom floor. She would scream at the top of her lungs at 2am. Unfortunately I could not work and watch her all night too.
I had to place her in a memory care facility. She is doing much better there and seems happier than with me.
I honestly thought I'd loose my mind with all the difficulties of the dementia.
Please don't wear yourself to a frazzle. A dead caregiver is no good to anyone. Consider having her placed. It sounds like you have too much on your plate already.
And please don't think you've done anything wrong. This is how Alzheimer's is. It will only get worse.
if you're noticing that this seems to happen at the same time each day, supervise her. If she complains at the invasion of privacy, it’s ok to tell her you have to make sure she doesn’t pee on the floor.