My mother has lived in assisted living for 5 yrs. The aides give residents two showers a week but she refuses help. They are very kind but my mother won't comply. I think the only way to solve this is to tell her that as so many residents have fallen in the shower it's now the facility's rule that everyone has assistance with showering. Any suggestions?
You also note that she washes herself daily and changes her clothes. Are you personally satisfied she actually does this?
More important than bathing is for someone to check her skin so that any sore. rashes etc can be dealt with. This can be done sometime when she is minimally dressed such as in her night gown so she does not have to be stripped naked for the whole world to see.
I realize showers are much quicker and easier than getting someone in a bath. If her memory care does have a tub but she can't get in perhaps they could lower her in with a hoist so she can enjoy an occasional soak. Give her some bubbles if privacy is a big issue
My mother was living in her own home of 40 years prior to the move. The no showers isn't new. She never, ever took showers. She always took a bath once a week and washed up everyday.
The staff has been diligent about checking in on her in the morning during her wash up to check her skin - something she doesn't appreciate one bit. Lol! But I certainly do. And she definitely changes clothes. The only problem we've had there is that she finds the new pajama pants I bought her quite comfortable and has decided to add those to her day wardrobe. Not a problem, but it makes me smile.
The staff and I have had a conversation about trying to get her to take a bath in a tub they have available. We last agreed to give it another month of settling in and trying for a shower, with plans to revisit at our next family care meeting. That is coming up in a few weeks.
Thanks for the question and concern. I appreciate hearing from others as I negotiate this brave new world with my mom. :-)