I'm caring for my mother who has ''dementia''. I put the '' '' because we're not sure if it is from cancer mets to the brain or not but due to her general condition and low weight/weakness the docs don't want to subject her to any more scans or treatments and I agree.
So, the palliative nurse has advised me to keep getting nutrition into her to keep up some sort of weight and help her profound weakness/fatigue. My issue is that after eating she gets extremely agitated. I know sitting up is hard for her but I try to gets lots of pillows and make it as comfy as I can until we get in a hospital bed. Today she ate a yogurt for me and some mash potatoes. As soon as I fed her the last bite she started getting agitated. She picked at clothing, insisted on getting up and when I asked where she wanted to go she said ''I just have to get out or I'll bite your head off'' which is so uncharacteristic it's funny. She was raving quite incoherently and at one point said ''I haven't seen you in months'' to me. For the next hour I couldn't get her to lay down and she was impossible to pacify. This is the third time she's gotten so antsy and agitated after a meal. Is there a connection? Has anyone experienced this before? She's much calmer at other times of the day and was with ''with it'' for some time before I fed her. Just not sure if it is a coincidence, eating, the time of day??
Any help would be appreciated. Thank You.
Yellow vegetables can be soothing for stomach issues.
It may be she just has to go to the bathroom and doesn't know it. Charting like Rainmom suggested will tell. Just add "BM, check " to the list. Is she constipated? Is she agitated from itching? How's her liver function? (Maybe not too good). Finally, does she have diabetes, or a condition similar? Is she flushing red-faced at these times? Is she overheated?
Does she have an anti-anxiety med you can give her with her meal?
Can she be gotten out of bed-maybe fed in a wheelchair-to be taken to another room, or to the window? Do you talk to her at these times when feeding her? Try not talking, or leaving the room before she is about to become agitated.
(It is not your fault). Sometimes with enough information you can figure these things out. Trying various comfort measures may help. A drink as the meal is finishing may help sooth her. Now, on top of everything else, you got to be a detective.
Sorry you are going through this, wishing I knew the answer. But stay with us, you can get support and understanding here.
I quit my job and moved home in 2011 when she first started having COPD exacerbations but I did get a job here that was badly paid but helped keep my mind active. I've only been caring for her 24 hours for 2 weeks and I'm already going crazy so I'm happy to have found this site.
The picking at clothing is usually a symptom of "delirium", this is something you need to tell your Mom's primary doctor. He/she can give Mom meds to calm her down.
Rainmon above had a good idea of charting what foods your Mom is eating. Maybe she had become intolerant to dairy products which can upset her stomach. Usually the symptoms happen immediately. Or if tomatoes or heavy spices were on the menu for lunch, that can makes one's throat feel like it is on fire or their chest area will hurt a couple of hours later, this is acid reflux/heartburn. Tums works to calm the fire.
You are a star for caring for your mom
I used to be of the opinion that cancer was so much more difficult due to the pain but others have told me that dementia is worst - I really don't know if you can compare the two but it is an agonizing journey
@MsMadge You know the cancer has taken a back seat to the cognitive issues. If she was mentally okay the cancer symptoms would be easy to manage and she would still have some independence. The palliative nurse was actually telling me that most of her cancer patients have "easy deaths" with controlled pain and many are even up and about until days before a decline. She recently lost a patient who had been in Europe visiting family 36 hours before she passed! She said chronic diseases are more difficult to die from. So far in our family we've had sudden deaths with no prior symptoms so this is all new. Dad, grand parents and aunt were 4 cardiac arrests, 2 strokes. Dad actually was watching TV with my mom and he tilted his head back and died on the spot. I didn't know then how "lucky" he was to go so easily. I have such admiration for other carers because it isn't easy. I've applied for financial aid since leaving my job and they will give $870 per month. Really crazy how much we are undervalued.
Some elders like to sleep totally flat, my parents were that way, and their pillows were so thin it was like sleeping on a pancake. And here my Dad had acid reflux.
Keep the bed elevated. You would understand if ever experiencing the hot, rolling boil, rapidly shooting up your esophagus and into your throat, to wake you in the middle of the night.
If this is what is happening, that scary event is enough to explain the bedcovers being thrown off, legs sticking out over the bed, etc.
FF, I read that it should be a wedge pillow in addition to your pillows, because the incline is important and pillows just don't do that properly. However, with g.e.r.d. it is whatever works, right?
Just so everyone knows, GERD is called different names, and some conditions can be different. GERD stands for Gastrointestinal Esophageal Reflux Disorder
(or Disease?). It can often be diagnosed from just the symptoms, whether or not studies are done such as upper g.i.
Some of the treatments are with prilosec, prevacid, prevacid with tums, nexium, and others.
Do not overfeed a patient with these issues.
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