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Has anyone moved their loved one from memory care back to their home? My wife has been in memory care for eight months and is very well taken care of. Lately I have been thinking of moving her back home to be with me and hire a private caregiver for up to eight hours per day. She would be moving into a new house which is different and smaller than where we lived before. I don't know if this is a good idea or not. If she did not adjust well then I would have to put her back in memory care. She adjusted to the memory care facility very well and has no issues when I take her out for dinner etc and then return to the facility which she calls her house. Your input is appreciated.

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They say that once you move a person with dementia, if you and they are happy with the facility and their quality of care, leave that person there. A move tends to make the dementia worse and they can often be very agitated and unsettled.

I saw this first hand with a relative over whom I had guardianship. She was doing well in her facility, but she broke her knee and had to go to rehab. She completely shut down immediately when she was moved there and stopped eating. She passed away 2 months later.
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I moved my husband home because he was not adjusting well in memory care. (There was also money issues for me.) If your wife is content there, I would leave her there. You know how difficult it is to find a decent memory care with availability and how frustrating the paperwork is. Don’t fix if not broken.
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I think that you have already answered your own question: "She adjusted to the memory care facility very well and has no issues when I take her out for dinner etc and then return to the facility which SHE CALLS HER HOUSE."  (I capitalized the important part.)

Since your wife has adjusted so well to the Memory Care Unit, I recommend that she continue to stay there.  The stress (mental, physical, emotional) on you of taking care of someone with mental or emotional problems such as dementia or Alzheimer's is daunting to say the least and could negatively affect your own health. 

Moving someone with dementia or Alzheimer's to a "NEW" location can trigger negative behaviors or confuse the person even more because nothing is familiar.  And you plan to take your wife to a house that she has never been in or is familiar with.

Also, your wife would go from having several people taking care of her 24 hours/day, 7 days/week, 365 days/year to having only 2-3 people taking care of her in that same time period.  Do you think that you can physically and emotionally and mentally handle the constant watching that your wife needs (and is currently getting at the Memory Care Unit)?  And if your wife has a tendency to wander, then you or whomever is with her at your house, will have to be watching her every minute, every second, of the day and night.  You will not be able to relax at all.  You will have to adapt your house to have all of the hospital and safety equipment just like the Memory Care Unit has--such as a hospital bed, wheel chair if she uses one, adaptive equipment in the bathroom, transfers aid such as a "Sit-Stand" machine if your wife cannot stand by herself, (Do you think that you can assist her with transfers without hurting yourself?), bed alarms so that you can help her when she gets out of bed, door alarms in case she tries to go outside (even if it is raining or snowing or at night), etc.  

The best thing that you can do for your loved one is to leave your wife in the care of others and visit her often at the Memory Care Unit (which she calls her house.)
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