Hello, All:
I am a Daughter in law that is concerned about being a Long Term Caregiver. My Father in law is 94 and he recently fell on his Kitchen Floor and was Hospitalized for 2 weeks. he had no broken bones . Just Skin Tears on both his Arms and one are had 8 stitches. He finally came home Wed, Aug, 14th and is at home now with his Daughter that is taking care of him Short term. She is only here for 2 more days. She could only stay a week.
Our problem is after she leaves we are going to be the Main Prime Caregivers and I had not had any training for this. I know how to take care of him and all but Long term is a problem because My Husband works nights , 2pm to 10:30pm. I have a job partime. My son too. We need care in between time. My Husband was thinking of taking a "Leave of Abscense" but he has only accumulated 6 months at his job. So that makes My son and I the primary care givers. Even though my Father in law is getting stronger we don't want him to fall again. If anyone out there has any suggestions will be much appreciated.
He did not get to go to a Rehab center because the didn't have beds open so we are doing this ourselves. Thank you for listening.
Valerie W, Jackson,Miss.
Yes, the others in your household would be a help in coping with the extra workload. But will one of them be there at all times? When he's well, how strong is your FIL? Worst case scenario, would he be able to overcome you physically?
This is a perfect opportunity to find a place for him where his physical therapy can be managed and he can stay long-term. Just visiting with him and doing his errands will strain your schedule.
In my mother's case, we didn't have many options. Her financial and mental health limitations (even before the dementia) made my staying with her the only alternative I could live with and I don't regret this decision. However, if you have other choices, grab one and hold on for dear life. Blessings to you and your family in this transition.
Time to have a discussion with dad about long term solutions and reality that with you both working full time; having children to chaffeur to events, etc. it is not practical to be full time caregivers nor do you feel you are skilled in the caregiving needs he will have in the future. Ask if he will at least consider moving to AL where he can have his privacy, remain relatively independent, but will have other advantages of activities, socialization, prepared meals, cleaning, and emergency access should he slip or need help when no one is around (realistically this still happens even in AL, NH or other).
Hopefully he will trust your advice. Good luck and wishes to you for peace of mind.
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