Just before we went on vacation, an apartment became available for my Mom (age 87) at the local Assisted Living facility. When I told her she did not say much and she had previously said she would give it a try. I made a down payment to hold the apt. and we left town. The day after we left, she called the facility and cancelled her room. Thankfully I have been assured by the facility that it is still reserved. My Mom at this point still thinks it has been cancelled. I would appreciated and tips on doing this transfer with a reluctant (or may be angry) participant. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
My mother was stubborn that way and her doctor encouraged her to move to an assisted living. It took an emergency to move her, but the move was to a nursing home due to a broken hip that her dementia kept her from ever walking again because she could not keep focused in physical therapy.
This not your fault. Not hers either, but don't beat yourself up.