Someone posted a similar question, but the situation is not the same.
I have been taking care of my Mom since my Dad passed away seven years ago. We currently live in her house in Florida. I hate it here! I found a nice little house in upstate NY and would like to move. The problem is her! How do I convince her to move a thousand miles away from everything. Her burial plot is here in Florida. I know she wants to be with my father. So how do I convince her, that she will eventually still be with him? She has beginning dementia. She is with it most of the time, but is subject to temper tantrums, and pouting. I passed the idea by her, but she wasn't very responsive. How should I handle this? Also we would have a very long drive. I figured I could break it into several days stopping along the way. I'm not really sure how this would affect her. She is 93 and fairly frail.
Think about if you want to do this alone with her, regardless of what she wants. Now if you already have lots of friends in NY to support you in your caregiving, taking her with you might work (if you eventually convince her).
I live on a dirt road in the middle of fields and forests. Pitch black out here, surrounded by snow drifts and ice with a hip replacement I don't go out after dark in the winter. Tough luck toots! In the end you learn to stand up for yourself, stamp on their shenanigans and avoid them.
Move to where you can be happy and rebuild your life. Change your phone number if you have to. After having a mild stroke from a lifetime of stress from madam, that's what I did.