My grandmother is begging. My grandfather is semi-resistant most days. He has Alzheimers and she can no longer care for him 24/7. It is not so advanced he wanders off, just advanced enough he can sometimes not recall where we are when we are out. But he is mean spirited, defensive, and demanding, unlike his normal self. She could not care for their large home alone but is more afraid she will pass away and leave him here knowing he cannot handle his own care or the home.
My grandparents basically raised me. Specifically my grandmother.
I live 1100 miles away with my husband. We are seriously discussing moving across the country to live on the second floor of their home (basically an apartment, it has 2 large bedrooms, a den, a full bath).
We have talked about buying a home down here or renting, but they actually want in-home care.
Is this the right thing to do? Will we regret it? How do I know what is the right choice?
Would you like to do this for your grandparents? Or do you feel that you should do it because you are asked? How would it affect other members of your family? Many older people (70s+) come from a generation that was not very mobile, so don't like the idea of leaving their homes. They feel safe there. Sometimes, however, there are better places that they just haven't experienced yet. Maybe you can think through what is best for them and for your family. If it seems that moving in with them is best, than it would probably be. I hope the decision you make will be the right one.