My mother moved in with my husband and I about 3 years ago. She has late Stage Alzheimer’s. In the beginning I handled her and her condition well but soon I knew what I knew and had of a life of my own was over. I’m her primary caregiver and am with her 24/7. I love her very much and refuse to put her in a home as long as I can take care of her at my home. But I am starting to feel resentment towards her because my husband and I used to have a very active life and now I have no life except taking care of my mom. My husband still gets to do a lot of what he wants but he helps me sometimes. Then I feel so guilty for being resentful. How do I deal with these feelings and avoid burn out?
I felt life was so unfair. My parents had a wonderful fun filled retirement right up into their 90's, and they continued to live in their house. Oh my gosh, I had many a sleepless night wondering who would be next to fall down their stairs. The stress was overwhelming, and I just don't handle stress very well. Thus, I developed a serious illness that knocked me for a loop. Never recovered from that.
So I am dealing with a new normal. But I am not happy about it. Oh well, at least I still have my career to give me purpose to get up every morning :) It just hurts so much that I can't go sightseeing with my sig other's grandchildren when the family visits as we live in Washington DC area, and there is tons of places to visit.
“me” time and activities and more “ we” time on your mother and you
If you don't take a break and regroup you will have caregiver burnout and getting over that takes a long time.
Find someone or someplace that will take care of her and plan a vacation for you and hubby. He is probably having some resentment as well. Remember, this doesn't just impact you, it impacts him and everyone that knows and loves you. They have lost you to your moms disease.