She is saying she wants to die. She is in a care facility. The Doctor is a bit difficult so I need to be specific in what I ask. I dont want Mum to be trial and error again on antidepressants etc. Does anyone know of a reasonably low side effect antidepressant I could ask for her to trial? Mum has been on Mertazapine before and it took 9 months of me asking and asking for her to go off it as it made her worse. I have EPOA but its not actioned until the patient can't decide anything for themselves.
She has also been on Prozac a few years ago or fluoxitine as the generic name is.
She is crying a lot, tired a lot and saying she wants to die a lot.
I phone every day and she cries all the time but she pretends to the staff she is ok.
She is tired a lot and is not eating and has lost 3 stone in 4 months. They have her on meal suppliment drinks.
Any suggestions will be very much appreciated.
Thank you all so much for being there. Take care.
I know you're trying to do all you can for your mom. At 92 years old, I am very concerned to hear about all the different meds she has been on and the side effects. Crying a lot and saying she wants to die is very worrying.
If at all possible, I would try and get her off this medication.
I hate to say this but I find hospitals and care centers tend to give medications to control their patients and make it easier for the staff.
My own father had a high sensitivity to medication. It was hard to find the right balance.
I hope the staff will work with you to find the right meds for your mom.
Is her RESIDENCE described legally as a “care facility”? HOW LONG has she been in placement in this facility? Is this her first attempt at residential placement? Is “the Doctor” a psychiatric specialist with GERIATRIC TRAINING?
”Trial and Error” is often the ONLY way to determine the needs of very elderly people with complex behavior issues. Small, well planned trials of meds can often be tweaked to provide peace and comfort for such patients.
You love her and want the best for her, but you don’t seem to have a very accurate sense, at present, of what the best for her is. It is possible that she cries FOR YOU, but relaxes into her routine for those people who are being paid to care for her. If she cries when you call, call less. Someone who is 91 is richly entitled to be tired a lot.
If she is saying she wants “to die” a lot, but is not dying, you can assume that her comments are not immediately serious, and that the staff caring for her is aware of how she feels. How do you know that she “pretends” to the staff?
This is not an easy time for either of you. Back off a little and be a careful observer of how she does without using you as an audience. Request a mental exam by a geriatric specialist. Take a little time off for yourself. Be a good caregiver for yourself. You’ll both be better for it.