As I said my 95 year old Mom who has dementia wants to play cards with me every single day but there are times when I'm too busy doing something else (cooking, cleaning, laundry) and I don't feel like playing.
Or I just want a break and some alone time in my room.
My Mom doesn't understand about cooking, cleaning, etc. or that I'm tired (I understand how her dementia doesn't allow her to understand).
Yet I feel guilty if I don't play. I say to myself "what is she passes away tomorrow?"... I will feel terrible about myself.
Any advice?
Jenna
If you're in the middle of doing something don't feel guilty to say “I'll be with you as soon as I'm done”. Even if you just don't feel like it, don't be afraid to say “right after my nap”, or even make up something that will give you some respite for a while.
You're a person of great resolve, Jenna. You've overcome alcoholism and Lyme disease and now you feel lucky to take care of your wonderful mom. For some people caregiving can be fulfilling. I applaud you.
I have said in the past "Mom, I need to finish cooking this, I'll let you know when I can play".. Or "I have to go pick up your medication, let's see when I come back"...
Thanks for the compliments as they mean a lot to me. I love my Mom a lot and I try to make her as happy as I can but I can't do it all, I'm only human.
There are other card games on line.
But setting aside 15 or 30 minutes a day would be nice. You need a break from laundry, cleaning, cooking as well. You might even want to suggest to mom that if she helps you sort the socks and fold the towels you will have time to play.
It will give her something to do and you can then play cards.
In the grand scheme of things what is more important, a basket of laundry or a few minutes with mom?
I'm going to give her laundry to fold which will keep her busy. She does enjoy watching her game shows but some days she gets really bored.
She lost sense of time so even if I say this is our last hand we are playing she begs for another game of 7 card gin rummy which of course being the person I am I cave in.
Many times she wants to play in the morning and I'm very busy then and I do tell her later we will play and I stick to my guns.
Thanks!
When one of his grands stopped in to visit, they would say hello to my mother but soon made their way to his bedroom where there would be a card game going in short order.
It’s a problem because you find it so but it brings back sweet memories for me of times gone by. I hope you can find her a card partner to give her a break.
Cleaning can always wait. Heavens, I haven't washed the inside of the windows in over a year, no one else has noticed :)
Jenna
I figured out, I could give the person chores, like folding socks or cleaning strawberries. I guess because of my anal retentive nature, I found an injury proof egg cutter the person could use for the strawberries...no injury and consistency.
I could do my chores while watching the person.