Dad is 80 and is a dementia ward , my mum , husband and myself visit regularly , with a lot of tears, stress and sadness for the decline of dad . we have managed to meld into his new world and to give comfort and love .
my 3 brothers , one lives very close do not visit very much , Mum sticks up for them and says it is "TOO HARD " to see dad
are we made of stronger stuff !!!.......... Or is that just a cop out?
mum hasnt mentioned what she feels , as the 'Boys can never do any wrong '
My brothers are his natural children and I was adopted !
So it it shows you no matter how you where conceived the love you have for someone , who has raised you and cared for you , and dropped everything for you is more important than anything .
You are responsible for your interaction with your dad, but not for your brothers'. I don't know why they don't visit, but it is Not Your Problem. (Sad, though, isn't it?)
I have decided to integrate his life and accept every person on the ward ,I get involved with everybody there as they don't have visitors.
My brothers just can't handle the situation and are in an out.i understand d there feelings as I was like that at the start, eventually you take every one under your wing and just accept it
Dad has just started losing conversation, and I am blessed that before then I took him out and had a wonderful time , to my mothers upset . I will never regret the wonderful times we had . I feel so lessee to heaved shared those times with dad .
1) Changing people becomes a full time job. Don't put your personal energy into it otherwise, you will just drain yourself.
2) You can't expect people to give what they DON'T have. So if they do not have any compassion or support in them, they can't give it away. Appreciate the support you already. I am a caregiver of my grandpa with dementia and I am not close to "most" of my relatives. I get respite on weekends when my sister is off from work and can babysit grandpa because she lives with him anyway and I also get respite when I take grandpa to adult daycare during the week and also once a week when his home visit nurse comes visits and gives him a bath, checks his vitals, and converses with him.
Also, if you can, take dad out in nature and do it for yourself as well. If there is a park that you are drawn to, frequent it as much as you can. Nature is known to have one of the highest vibrations. So if you are feeling low, go out in nature and it will uplift your spirits.
Read this article on the health benefits of spending time in nature: