He was diagnosed with dementia a few months back and refuses to acknowledge his diagnosis. Blaming past drugs or uneducated Drs. He acts like a perfect gentleman with his wife and I when I am around. The moment I leave, he does a complete 360. He recently told a friend to call his lawyer because he is being held hostage. He made up horrific lies. When I'm with him he constantly tells me how grateful he is and he's so happy I saved his life. He is putting his wife who also suffers from moderate dementia through unnecessary stress which causes her deep depressions which lasts for days. I have explained that he could get the attention of entities that could remove him from the home no matter what action the family or I take. I'm extremely worried for my female client. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Any help or suggestions is greatly appreciated.
If he is causing harm to his wife, you have an obligation to report that to wife's family, doctor and APS.
Touring a nursing home to frighten him into behaving? Then him denying his behavior because he doesn't remember? Even if the tour of the nursing home happens, he won't remember it. It won't work as an enticement to get him to behave. I think they need more care than can be provided at home now.
Ahhh, these people you are caring for are your grandparents?
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/are-there-legal-rights-to-telephone-access-441592.htm