Hi all,
I work as a support worker for my client. They are private and selfmanaged but funded by the NDIS. My client's husband I feel is taking advantage of us as support workers for his wife and making us feel like slaves to him. We are hired to support his wife but he will request for us to wash his ute, run to the shops to get him cigarettes, wash, dry and iron HIS clothes, prepare and SERVE him dinner. We do this for her guests that come over at least 2 x a week. I'm starting to feel like we are servents for him and not his wife who we actually work for. Who can I complain to about this? Because they are private and self managed he is pretty much our boss. If we said No to his requests he could fire us without hesitation. Any advice would be appreciated as I don't think he should get away with doing this.
You say that the wife is your client. So, technically you work for the wife, right? Why must you honor all of the husband’s requests?
What is wrong with telling the husband that you are there to help his wife and not there to do favors for him?
I get that you do not want to lose your job. Who do you report to? Who writes your paycheck? Is it him? If not? Speak to the person in charge or if you are truly unhappy give your notice. There isn’t any point in being miserable at work.
Best wishes to you.
I admire your dedication to his wife. She sounds sweet. I also love how you would like to prevent others from having to deal with his controlling behavior. No one would like to work for him. Sad, because he is going to chase people away. That will end up hurting his wife.
If you decide to leave I hope that you find suitable work. You sound dedicated and thoughtful.
Unless someone here is benefiting from NDIS services, we really wouldn't know its structure, hierarchy, or who handles what.
I'm assuming you also have some documentation from them on standards, etc.?
For other posters, NDIS is an Australian agency.v
https://www.ndis.gov.au/
Brendan,
Margaret McKen is an Australian, and I believe there is one other person who is but doesn't post as often. I'll PM Margaret and ask her to respond.
I know exactly how tricky this is; the difference for our team is that we can't be "fired" - not for that, anyway - but we can be complained about and the process that follows is not fun.
If you don't have a folder or journal in the house that contains: The Care Plan; emergency contact numbers; relevant medical history including px (if you need to know this); and daily record sheets - then you should have. The Care Plan is the crucial bit because that is what was agreed at the time of hiring.
Your client may be self-managed but a) the husband ain't the client; b) the funding is for a purpose, and that purpose must be defined, agreed and signed up to on a piece of paper somewhere.
In practice, saying 'no' is tricky even if you do have documentary back-up, I know. But put it to him that every minute you spend on tasks that are not directly supporting his wife is a minute taken away from the support that the funding pays for.
Wash his UTE? - I have in mind a particular lady on our team and what she would say to that request. I wouldn't ever use such language myself, but I think I would say - looking quizzical - "I'm afraid that's out of the question. I can't possibly justify car washing within your wife's care package."
Ditto running errands, although if you are buying items for his wife at the same time this is acceptable. It's none of your business what he wants bought, it's only your business if he's taking up extra time.
Similarly, if he is eating with her then of course it's fine to cook for and serve him too. If he's expecting you to fix him a club sandwich while he watches t.v., he is taking the mickey.
His clothes - if they go in the same wash load and the same drying cycle as hers, fine, because it takes virtually no extra time. You can just about get away with folding, too, because of course each load has to be sorted once it's done. But ironing? Nope. That is client time you're spending on non-client tasks.
You are not household servants, you are support workers for a person whose care needs justify this funding. He needs to remember what you're for. You should be backed up by your agency, employer or, at a pinch, whoever assessed her eligibility. Best of luck. What does his wife say about it, by the way?
Yes he made one of my collegues wash his ute while I did all of the house cleaning which should be 2 support workers. They have a extra vehcile we have to clean on Saturdays that he uses for golf leaving grass stains inside the car from his golf cart. I wish we had that lady on our team that is on yours!
I wouldn't complain about going to the shops for my client. But the errands weren't for her they were specifically for him. He has made us drop him off then pick him up from the mechanics for his ute too, not once but several occassions. I think he thinks this is okay because there are 2 support workers at all times. So 1 will go do something for him while the other 1 stays with his wife.
Cooking in 1 go for him and his wife is fine, its the fact we have to also bring his cutlery,his salt and pepper and fetch him a drink in the process which annoys me. This man has no disability and is purely just lazy. His legs work so his able to do it himself.
I agree, washing his clothes in the same cycle is fine. We don't use the dryer, we hang all clothes outside on the clothes line which adds extra time. We then have to iron, fold and pack away all clothes (including his). You can imagine how much washing needed to be done when he got back from a 1 week camping trip!!
I agree, we are not servants but i feel like he can get away with majority of this because their selfmanaged so we dont have a supervisor or HR person to go to. I am really considering leaving now as he is pushing my buttons and I have noticed when he comes back home in a crap mood, he lets it out on us as support workers.
His wife is amazing but she doesnt speak up. He is really controlling and has made her cry a few times over a couple of things... but hey thats none of my business. Before i do resign I want to know who I can contact so he doesn't get away with doing this to new employees.
Thank you for your advice!
This morning I had a light bulb moment about a client I'd just seen, and pulled over to call my Shift Leader. It was important.
Having reported the important bit, I added that this client had said she would really like it if someone could bring her a bag of Jelly Babies. I'd explained to the client that we weren't supposed to buy items except in emergencies, SOOO much paperwork involved, I couldn't promise, but I would see what we could do.
I was quite nervous about telling my Shift Leader this. Shift Leaders tend to be a bit fierce and hard-hearted; plus they handle goodness knows how many phone calls in the mornings and are pushed for time. They have scant patience with workers who don't keep to their schedules and THE CARE PLAN.
My Shift Leader said "oh, love her! We've got a big bag of Jelly Babies at home, we'll never eat them, I'll bring them in for tomorrow."
Yes, this looks like maybe (correct me Brendan if I am wrong) but this is like our Medicaid. Its a service they provide.
If I am right, do you work for an agency that is contracted to provide these services for NDIS. If so, NDIS must have procedures that their contractors are to follow? I would think ur complaint would go to the person who supervises you and that person calls NDIS. Maybe someone from that NDIS can contact the Clients husband and explain that his wife is the client not him. And as such, he is not privy to the service. Now if he is not able to do the things you have listed, he needs to apply for his own aide. He may just not understand how it all works and I feel someone higher up should explain it to him.
Here in the US its sort of the same thing. I had a friend that thru Medicaid (insurance for those who are low income) got an aide for the disabled husband. The wife worked. He was a client for our Visiting Nurses. The friend complained to our head nurse that the aide was not cleaning and doing dishes. The nurse told her that if a client lives alone, part of the aides responsibility is to do light housekeeping, laundry, prepare food and do dishes. But if there is an abled bodied family member who is capable, then they do the cleaning, prepare their own food, their own laundry, and do their own dishes. All the aide is responsible for is the client. That means washing dishes that the client used. Cleaning up the kitchen after preparing a meal. Besides doing the clients laundry, washing soiled bedding and disposing of soiled diapers correctly. Nothing should be left for the clients family to do.
Come back and tell us what u find out.
Im not sure what medicaid is sorry. We don't have a supervisor unfortunately. He is pretty much our "supervisor" which is what a self-managed plan is. They just get funded by NDIS. I think you are right, i will contact NDIS and see what they say. I feel awful complaining considering my client is amazing, which is why i've stayed with them for so long and have kept my mouth shut but her husband is really pushing my buttons.
Im sure he wishes he could have his own support workers but he won't be able to or even apply for funding because he doesn't have a disability at all. His just lazy.
Will keep everyone in the loop of what happens. Thanks for the advice JoAnn!
But the husband isn't the client, and the husband is almost "stealing" services.
JoAnn you're right again that there almost certainly will be protocols, guidelines and a regulator involved. The OP should go direct to the NDIS and look for its helpline - they might even have a section of their website that is specifically for support workers paid by the scheme.
https://www.ndis.gov.au/providers/working-provider
If you're not the "working provider" yourself, then whoever hired you or put you forward for this role is, and that person should have your back.
There are also useful bullet points about what the money may and may not be used for.
When there are medical or nursing guidelines about things such as length of time on a bedpan, and the guidelines don't fit with what the client wants to do (ugh, it's worse when the client is demented!), it helps to call in an OT and see if there's a better way to meet that particular care need. Does she have to use a bedpan? Could she not transfer or be transferred to a commode? Plus, if she's taking so long she might want attention from a 'bladder and bowel' nurse (do you have those?) - is it constipation or does she have a disability that affects the relevant muscles? Meanwhile, I should negotiate with her: "your back and bottom really need a break from this hard surface, but we can always try again in xx minutes."
I haven't thought of that, I will give it a go when she needs more time on a bedpan.
From the looks of all the replies, NDIS would be the best to talk to considering they are the one that funds the support.
I feel awful calling NDIS considering my client is amazing! She is a great lady and is super positive and never treats us like her husband does.
I just hope they atleast look into this and give him a talk about taking advantage of his wifes support workers for himself.
One client's wife looked at the care plan, saw that her husband had a 45 minute a.m. call and a 30 minute lunch call, perfect to get the shops and walk the dogs respectively. These calls, she unilaterally decided, were her 'respite breaks.'
Well it wasn't that we didn't sympathise with a woman in need of respite. But getting across to her that we were there not to cover for her but to support his recovery from a hip replacement through ADL and therapy routines was next to impossible. One worker said at handover "I went in, she ran out, said she'd be back by 10:00 so I wouldn't need the key to lock up. I couldn't catch her!"
Flint-hearted SL said "if she does that again, and she's not back when it's time to leave, you leave. We are not responsible for his supervision." I bit my lip, but it's true. We're not, and the wife had been told.
As we're constantly reminded, we "work to the job, not to the time." In my case this means I overrun a lot, but that is because I am a bit useless (I am learning. E.g. Rule #17 - NEVER let them show you their knitting). What it's supposed to mean is that if your star client has got himself washed and dressed in twenty minutes, then off you go. You do not hang about congratulating him and sharing a cup of tea for the other twenty-five.
Sheesh, this husband is - not a very nice person. He can't change the care plan. Even the client couldn't change the care plan to include "washing vehicles in no way connected with anything the client wants or is able to do."
If he or she can be made to understand that his behaviour is potentially jeopardising her entitlement to support, which it is, maybe that might concentrate their minds. It sounds as though he thinks it's a bit of a joke. It's actually not funny at all.
I'm sure she is lovely, but she's not following through. She is the client. She hired you, even if he did the talking. She's all right mentally, is she?