Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
If you are worried he will steal all of the money, consult a trusted lawyer and find out how you can protect her care.
Caregiving is very hard, don't hate him for not being able to do it. Is this other woman much younger? Could she be exploiting your dad? Just because he says it all good, doesn't mean that all is up and up, coercion by a younger woman can make a man stupid, for lack of a better term.
There are a lot of “if’s”. If your mom was of sound mind when she appointed your father as POA, it’s a binding document. You cannot take over POA. Mom would have to revoke the first POA naming your father and then appoint you. If she is not mentally competent, her signature would be invalid. The best you can do is apply for guardianship of Mom. If their assets are joint, Dad can do whatever he wants. However, if Mom is on Medicaid, there will be a lien on the house and he will have to pay Medicaid back from the profits of the sale. If bank accounts are joint, Dad can also use that money. Again, if Mom is on Medicaid, they don’t miss much when they do the five year lookback. If somehow your father did manage to put something past them, he will be found out.
What he is doing is distasteful to you, for sure. But you need to have proof that he is “hiding assets”. Once you have that, consult an attorney about how to proceed.
I know a family that experienced this. The adult children chose not to speak to their dad any longer after their mother was placed in a nursing home and their dad moved on with his new girlfriend. It was a sad chapter for what had been a wonderful family. I’m sorry you’re experiencing it. I’d suggest you consult an elder care attorney to find out what your options might be
Does your mother have an existing DPOA? Or is your father exercising decision making in his role as her husband? Has your mother been declared incompetent? or just diagnosed? Do you agree she needs to be in MC?
Why divorce? Is this about what your mother wants/needs or about you striking back at your Dad? What benefits do you see a divorce bringing your mother?
ALZ is a terrible disease. Many of the people on this site are very strong (physically and emotionally) and loving enough to care for their ALZ spouse through all the years of the disease progression. Others are not. It's easy to believe your father has abandoned your mother and is betraying her with another woman - and maybe he is. It's also possible that he's devastated by your mother's condition and running as hard and fast from that pain as he can. That he has taken up with the other woman because he cannot stand to be alone.
He has placed your mother in MC - many experienced caregivers on this site would say that's probably where she needs to be. That may be the most loving thing your father can do. Please try to make sure your anger is about your father's actions and not escalated by your anger over the unfairness of your mother developing ALZ.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you are worried he will steal all of the money, consult a trusted lawyer and find out how you can protect her care.
Caregiving is very hard, don't hate him for not being able to do it. Is this other woman much younger? Could she be exploiting your dad? Just because he says it all good, doesn't mean that all is up and up, coercion by a younger woman can make a man stupid, for lack of a better term.
Best of luck getting to the bottom of this mess.
What he is doing is distasteful to you, for sure. But you need to have proof that he is “hiding assets”. Once you have that, consult an attorney about how to proceed.
Why divorce? Is this about what your mother wants/needs or about you striking back at your Dad? What benefits do you see a divorce bringing your mother?
ALZ is a terrible disease. Many of the people on this site are very strong (physically and emotionally) and loving enough to care for their ALZ spouse through all the years of the disease progression. Others are not. It's easy to believe your father has abandoned your mother and is betraying her with another woman - and maybe he is. It's also possible that he's devastated by your mother's condition and running as hard and fast from that pain as he can. That he has taken up with the other woman because he cannot stand to be alone.
He has placed your mother in MC - many experienced caregivers on this site would say that's probably where she needs to be. That may be the most loving thing your father can do. Please try to make sure your anger is about your father's actions and not escalated by your anger over the unfairness of your mother developing ALZ.