Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My dad has been in the hospital for 3 weeks he has sudden onset dementia he has not eaten much for 3 weeks. He thinks he has eaten and is full so won’t eat or drink. I’m afraid he will starve to death. Any suggestions appreciated.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions, I did find something he likes and will eat mostly fresh fruits especially grapefruits. Since he's lost about 40 lbs. drs said to feed him anything he wants. He took his pills with applesauce and he ate a full magic cup. I was so happy I cried, I'm hoping he starts eating a little more. I got an update on him today he ate a few bites of his lunch. :) I'm praying this keeps up.
Agree wholeheartedly with Grandma 1954. I am only hoping and praying that I lose my appetite when (if) I develop dementia. When my husband had a stroke he could not swallow, and we had documents stating that he didn't want a feeding tube. He did not appear to be hungry, and he received mouth care in hospice. We might not have chosen this path if we had not watched my stepfather on a feeding tube slowly lose his mind and his eyes got wild (he could not speak). If all life has to offer is lying in bed making your loved ones miserable and using all of your resources and theirs just to keep alive, it doesn't seem worth it to me. Let nature decide.
Why does he feel full if he hasn't eaten? Is he still in the hospital? Get in touch with one of his doctor's and inquire about this.
Sometimes constipation can make someone feel full. Or gas.
Try to figure out why he won't eat or drink. In the meantime try giving him protein shakes like Boost and Ensure. Encourage fluids. Try something other than water like Gatorade or Sprite.
Don't try to force him to eat. Think how you would feel if you weren't hungry and someone tried to force you to eat. It's very unpleasant and it doesn't help. Offer him a cracker and see if he'll take it. Maybe some jello. But if he still refuses, take the food away and try not to chastise him. Still, I understand your concern and frustration.
Lioness, when was the last time your Dad saw a dentist? A tooth that is hurting will make someone not want to eat, and it could be that Dad doesn't want to complain about the tooth ache.
Plus as we age, we tend to lose our sense of taste except for really sweet items. My parents use to load up on ice cream, pies, cakes, cupcakes, cookies, etc.
I also agree with Grandma1954. I just lost my mother who also had dementia, but was still pretty functional. All us children helped, and took turns to keep her at home so I'm telling you this from an up close, personal perspective. It was a huge learning curb. No one talks about dying so we're all clueless about what to expect. The first thing we noticed that told us something was wrong was her loss of appetite, which occurred after a heart procedure closely followed by a hospital admitting UTI from which she never recovered.
Unbeknownst to us, along with her end stage appetite, taste buds also start to go. We'd cook her favorite things in a desperate attempt to get her to eat, but she would say it didn't taste as good as before. We were all hurt by her complaints. My brother was the worst as he associated her lack of appetite to not getting better so would get mad at her, and force food. Lots of protein! It was terrible, but done out of misguided love.
After doing research, I stumbled on what Grandma1954 stated. My siblings didn't believe me even though I showed them the research, and only came around late in the game. Poor Mom. Admitting your loved one is dying is so difficult. Her lack of appetite was just the beginning of a natural decline. A change in taste buds coincide with this symptom. She wasn't trying to insult our cooking when we cooked her favorite things, what we cooked really didn't taste the same. At this stage, eating does not equate to maintaining strength. As the body starts shutting down, it requires less and less. We stopped forcing her to eat, and everyone was much happier, especially her since we were actually making her sick with food her body could no longer process. Instead, we kept it as healthy as possible, and gave her all the foods SHE wanted: fruits, ice cream floats, chocolate, seafood salad... Gravitating towards sweets is common because this is the last taste bud to go. The doctor gave her an appetite stimulant, but it had no real effect. Her change in appetite began in March 2017, and was never the same no matter what we did. We started in home Palliative care in April 2017. She passed 2 February this year. I guess the bottom line is find out the cause, but do not force him to eat. Let him guide you. As we discovered, as usual, Mom really did know best. Respect what his body tells you. Don't be afraid if his change in appetite is related to the end. The end is just a new beginning. Embrace the time you have left.
He’s in the hospital. Drs don’t know what else to do. Being transferred today to a rehab/long term facility. He appears to not be hungry cause he believes he has eaten already. And whatever is going on in his head is apparently not letting him feel hungry or thirsty. Hopefully the geriatric specialist will be able to help
In addition to what ff said I have heard that putting syrup on the food helps for some people. Are you trying to hand feed him? My mom started having issues controlling her hands fairly early on. Much luck
My grandma was in the hospital and the drugs she was on made her not hungry. I have noticed, UTI meds, pain meds, dementia drugs, diabetic drugs, etc have changed the taste of things and make her not hungry. Through trial and error, the doctor and I have found a combination that works and doesn't upset her stomach too much. I agree constipation causes my grandma not to be hungry, when she's sick and her sugar is high (she's a diabetic) she won't eat and isn't hungry and sometimes she just doesn't like what I fix. She is so used to be able to fix what she wants when she wants it that honestly she just doesn't like what I fix sometimes and cannot express herself.
I agree about finding something that was a favorite for him or something soft and sweet. Offer ice cream or pudding or even mash potatoes or whatever the comfort food was when he was eating. Sometimes time of day makes a different. Talk to his doctor and make sure it's not a medication change that's causing it or it's not sickness that's causing it. UTI's are brutal. Hopefully it's a change that can fix things.
For my grandma, when in the hospital she won't eat and she didn't eat much in rehab. She said the food was bland and was gross. In fact she lost 40 pounds in 2 months while healing at a rehab facility because she refused to eat even while doing her PT 3 times a day. When she came home she put back on 10 pounds which the doctor was happy to see. You can even try those shakes. They aren't ideal but it will help with the nutrition. Good luck. Hope you find the answer.
I would caution you the subject of a feeding tube may come up. Please resist the idea of one. There are several problems with them. Dementia patients may pull them out. Many Long Term Care Facilities or Re-Hab facilities will not take a dementia patient with a feeding tube. As he declines and is closer to end of life he will stop eating. The body does not need food at a certain point and it can not digest it so to continue giving food can create more problems.
It can be very difficult seeing a loved one decline food. All our lives we are told.."eat this it will make you feel better" "drink this soup it will help your cold, or flu" Even our medicine is sweetened either with a coating, corn syrup in syrups, or as many of you recall the drops for polio were put on sugar cubes. We show our love with big family meals, we give chocolate for special days I could go on.... So when a loved one begins to refuse food we do not know how to accept it. It is just part of the natural course as the body shuts down. It is not painful and there is no feeling of hunger. So as long as your Dad is eating now and I do hope he continues to improve when it does come time and he refuses food if he truly is at end of life resist the urge to do a feeding tube.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sometimes constipation can make someone feel full. Or gas.
Try to figure out why he won't eat or drink. In the meantime try giving him protein shakes like Boost and Ensure. Encourage fluids. Try something other than water like Gatorade or Sprite.
Don't try to force him to eat. Think how you would feel if you weren't hungry and someone tried to force you to eat. It's very unpleasant and it doesn't help. Offer him a cracker and see if he'll take it. Maybe some jello. But if he still refuses, take the food away and try not to chastise him. Still, I understand your concern and frustration.
Plus as we age, we tend to lose our sense of taste except for really sweet items. My parents use to load up on ice cream, pies, cakes, cupcakes, cookies, etc.
Good luck, hope it works out soon.
Unbeknownst to us, along with her end stage appetite, taste buds also start to go. We'd cook her favorite things in a desperate attempt to get her to eat, but she would say it didn't taste as good as before. We were all hurt by her complaints. My brother was the worst as he associated her lack of appetite to not getting better so would get mad at her, and force food. Lots of protein! It was terrible, but done out of misguided love.
After doing research, I stumbled on what Grandma1954 stated. My siblings didn't believe me even though I showed them the research, and only came around late in the game. Poor Mom. Admitting your loved one is dying is so difficult. Her lack of appetite was just the beginning of a natural decline. A change in taste buds coincide with this symptom. She wasn't trying to insult our cooking when we cooked her favorite things, what we cooked really didn't taste the same. At this stage, eating does not equate to maintaining strength. As the body starts shutting down, it requires less and less. We stopped forcing her to eat, and everyone was much happier, especially her since we were actually making her sick with food her body could no longer process. Instead, we kept it as healthy as possible, and gave her all the foods SHE wanted: fruits, ice cream floats, chocolate, seafood salad... Gravitating towards sweets is common because this is the last taste bud to go. The doctor gave her an appetite stimulant, but it had no real effect. Her change in appetite began in March 2017, and was never the same no matter what we did. We started in home Palliative care in April 2017. She passed 2 February this year. I guess the bottom line is find out the cause, but do not force him to eat. Let him guide you. As we discovered, as usual, Mom really did know best. Respect what his body tells you. Don't be afraid if his change in appetite is related to the end. The end is just a new beginning. Embrace the time you have left.
I agree about finding something that was a favorite for him or something soft and sweet. Offer ice cream or pudding or even mash potatoes or whatever the comfort food was when he was eating. Sometimes time of day makes a different. Talk to his doctor and make sure it's not a medication change that's causing it or it's not sickness that's causing it. UTI's are brutal. Hopefully it's a change that can fix things.
For my grandma, when in the hospital she won't eat and she didn't eat much in rehab. She said the food was bland and was gross. In fact she lost 40 pounds in 2 months while healing at a rehab facility because she refused to eat even while doing her PT 3 times a day. When she came home she put back on 10 pounds which the doctor was happy to see. You can even try those shakes. They aren't ideal but it will help with the nutrition. Good luck. Hope you find the answer.
Please resist the idea of one.
There are several problems with them.
Dementia patients may pull them out. Many Long Term Care Facilities or Re-Hab facilities will not take a dementia patient with a feeding tube.
As he declines and is closer to end of life he will stop eating. The body does not need food at a certain point and it can not digest it so to continue giving food can create more problems.
It can be very difficult seeing a loved one decline food. All our lives we are told.."eat this it will make you feel better" "drink this soup it will help your cold, or flu" Even our medicine is sweetened either with a coating, corn syrup in syrups, or as many of you recall the drops for polio were put on sugar cubes. We show our love with big family meals, we give chocolate for special days I could go on....
So when a loved one begins to refuse food we do not know how to accept it.
It is just part of the natural course as the body shuts down. It is not painful and there is no feeling of hunger.
So as long as your Dad is eating now and I do hope he continues to improve when it does come time and he refuses food if he truly is at end of life resist the urge to do a feeding tube.
See All Answers