Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You should make sure that he understands that his refusal to accept hired help DOES NOT obligate you to step in and prop him up.
He can decide what he is willing to do and you have the same choices. You are not a child that needs to listen and obey your dad's every command.
Make sure that he fully understands what you will and will not do and then stick to it. Don't cross your boundaries one time or you will ruin it. He will see that you mean what you told him, only if you do what you told him. This is the only way I know that will create change in these situations.
It is difficult to step back and watch someone fail. Especially when they have such a dire diagnosis. You really need to decide what you are willing to do for him and have a very frank discussion or two about what your role will be. Difficult to do but, you will be able to remain his supportive daughter and not become resentful that he is hijacking your life because he doesn't want to accept help from other sources. It is unfair for a parent to place the care of themselves all on their children.
It will become more about arranging what your Dad needs, while adhearing to his wishes where you can. When his wishes are possible, when they increase his comfort & care.
There will be hard decisions ahead of you. Sometimes in these very emotional times it is useful to have a common sense friend or partner to bounce ideas off. Support for you is very important too.
Regarding the home help.. Would Dad accept a 'cleaning lady'? An experienced aide can sometimes earn trust as 'the cleaner' while they slowly increase their tasks. Cleaning up. Then making lunch. Later helping dress & wash.
Is the plan to keep him in his home as long as possible? Does he understand accepting a little help will allow him to do this for longer?
My husband was diagnosed with and died from brain cancer 17 months after diagnosis at age 53. For him it was a rapid downward slide, and there was no way he/we could have managed without substantial assistance. Does your dad understand his diagnosis? Maybe he just wants to be kept comfortable? There is no way you can do this, and realistically, he needs more help than home aide care.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He can decide what he is willing to do and you have the same choices. You are not a child that needs to listen and obey your dad's every command.
Make sure that he fully understands what you will and will not do and then stick to it. Don't cross your boundaries one time or you will ruin it. He will see that you mean what you told him, only if you do what you told him. This is the only way I know that will create change in these situations.
It is difficult to step back and watch someone fail. Especially when they have such a dire diagnosis. You really need to decide what you are willing to do for him and have a very frank discussion or two about what your role will be. Difficult to do but, you will be able to remain his supportive daughter and not become resentful that he is hijacking your life because he doesn't want to accept help from other sources. It is unfair for a parent to place the care of themselves all on their children.
It will become more about arranging what your Dad needs, while adhearing to his wishes where you can. When his wishes are possible, when they increase his comfort & care.
There will be hard decisions ahead of you. Sometimes in these very emotional times it is useful to have a common sense friend or partner to bounce ideas off. Support for you is very important too.
Regarding the home help.. Would Dad accept a 'cleaning lady'? An experienced aide can sometimes earn trust as 'the cleaner' while they slowly increase their tasks. Cleaning up. Then making lunch. Later helping dress & wash.
Is the plan to keep him in his home as long as possible? Does he understand accepting a little help will allow him to do this for longer?
He can decide what he is willing to do and you have the same choices. You are not a child that needs to listen and obey your dad's every command."
YES YES YES! Does he not want hired health because YOU are expected to be the help? PLEASE realize that YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE CAREGIVER.
You are already overwhelmed, according to your profile.
Where does he live?
Why is he refusing it?
Is he living alone in his house?