I have not answered his calls and I am not feeling the relief I thought I would from the respite care. In his voicemail he is asking for his truck and saying he has stuff to do bills to pay and he does not belong there............ and my heart breaks. I take care of his bills and sold his vehicle 9 months ago because he has no business driving. His home is a shanty so he has been living with me for a year. I was in desperate need of a break. He has Alzheimer's and I would say he is at stage 5 according to this website. He is still fairly with it but clearly has dementia. He is not at the point to where he needs 24/7 care but I needed a break. I am afraid to answer his call and explain he does not have a car anymore and I have taken care of everything. He has been there one week and has 4 more to go. When does this end? When do I get to feel like a normal person?
My LO is in MC, but, there are still things that have to be done, emergency calls, ER visits, etc. So, as long as you are the caregiver, it continues. It is stressful. I'm not sure how to avoid that. I did learn to be reasonable though, about my time and energy. I don't set unrealistic expectations and I let the professionals do what they do best. Let others help if that is possible and don't feel that you are the only one who can care for him. Some people get very burned out with that theory.
I hope that you are able to get some rest and enjoy yourself before the respite ends. Do you have some fun activities planned?
As it's quite a long time to go, if you feel like it you could call your Dad at a time *you* choose, setting yourself a limit of (say) five or ten minutes, and picking a regular slot like eleven in the morning or something - just calling to say everything is fine and you love him and you hope he's having a nice break.
Try not to be disappointed that you haven't been able to relax yet. I know it used to take me pretty much the entire week to stop lying awake at night wondering why the alarm *wasn't* going off... :/ You've had an incredibly stressful year and it is going to be a little while before you start breathing normally.
You really want this to go well so that you can at least make it into a regular pattern of respite breaks - say two weeks every three months or so. And... is there any possibility that if your father can be helped to settle in nicely at the facility, it could become a permanent home for him?