I cook 3 meals a day. Give his showers. Wash clothes. Pay all his Bill's. Take him to Dr.'s. I do everything for him.
His dementia is getting worse. He gets around with his Walker. He uses the bathroom fine. No pull ups. Eats very good
Sleeps a little more. My sister has a problem with the amount of money I receive. He saw a lawyer and he drew up a contract and specified the amount. She's accusing me that with his dementia I set the amount.
Contract was drawn up almost 2 years ago. What do I do? She says $300.00 a month is plenty and I'm taking his money. She does not help me with any of his care and never offers.
Your dad is paying you TOO LITTLE. $1,000/month, that's $12,000/52 weeks, which translates to $231/week, which translates to $33/day.
How many hours a day do you spend helping dad including being ON-CALL meaning to passively watch him to make sure he's ok? Security guards do nothing but walking or standing around and they get paid. You do the same when you're sitting and keeping an eye on dad. Since you're getting $33/day, you should work NO MORE than 3 hours.
Your sister wants to pay you slavery wage. That's shameful. Tell her to go check out the rates from a few agencies. They charge at least $25/hours with a minimum of 4 hours/day.
Your profile says your dad is living in your home. He should also pay you rent, and part of utility expenses. Tell your idiotic sister to either shut up or she can take over his care by bringing him to her place for her to take care of him.
I'm with Polar. You should be paid far more.
You deserve to be paid for your care and you are completely protected since an attorney drew up the contract.
It is easier to find fault than offer a helping hand.
What a sweet sister you are. Not collecting or being paid a decent wage all so siblings receive a larger inheritance.
Check into the cost of memory care, too while you are at it. Sis would never take on this responsibility.
Is this really just full time, 40 hours, of care each week? I would think it is actually 166 hours.
Would SHE bill willing to have him live in HER home for not even $3/day, which is what she thinks you should get?
What a piece of work!
You could always go get a new contract drawn up for the current care needs, inflation and added hours. That would increase your monthly pay.
Be sure and thank your sister for pointing out that your contract needed to be updated to reflect the current situation.
Oh yes, make sure that you have a roommate agreement with dad and that he is paying his way on top of paying for the care he receives.
Based on what you have said about your sister, I personally don't think that she would actually care for dad. She would happily take the money and let him go without care. I could be wrong, but I don't think so.
"Be sure and thank your sister for pointing out that your contract needed to be updated to reflect the current situation."
It's great that he had a formal contract drawn up by a lawyer. But it does need to reflect reality and you need to be paid fairly (more!) and be paid rent. I think you should maintain communication with your sister and by all means share with her the data you gather about costs of facilities and private caregivers. Transparency is important, even with people who are unreasonable. But if she continues to squawk, just ignore her. This is an agreement between you and your dad.
I am a little confused, you do have a contract with him for the $1000 a month? You are paying taxes and deducting Social Security. If so, you are getting even less. Are you POA?
Draw up a contract with the amount that is a median of the figures you have come up with. Include the estimates from the agencies and CPA that you have contacted for costs.
I feel that a contract for a caregiver should be able to be reviewed every 6 months and fees increased if the person has declined so that the caregiver is doing more work. If the person has not declined and the work remains the same then fees and hours would be the same. If there has been a significant decline then work will have increased and possibly the time will increase as well.
Personally at $300.00 a month most caregivers in my area cost between $15 and 20 per hour at $300 that would give you only 15 hours of work per month, are you working longer than that? CPA's can cost anywhere between $150 and 500 per hour lets take the $150 add that to the hours that you put in as a caregiver. Transporting him to doctor's visits and other trips IRS allows I think $0.18 per mile. Add that in if you are using your car. And since you are managing all the doctor visits and keeping track of that a Geriatric Care Manager makes between $100 and 150 per hour.
This is much like the old list that showed the value of a "non working" stay at home mom. Bottom line was that if someone had to pay a stay at home mom for all the things she does no one could afford them.
Same with a Caregiver, this is one of the reasons that caregivers are a VASTLY underrated support when it comes to the actual cost of caring for someone.
Make an appointment with the attorney who drew up the original contract about a cost of living adjustment. Everything is more expensive - food, utilities, home maintenance. A cost of living adjustment is reasonable. An attorney will be able to determine whether or not your dad understands the contract and changes you want made to the contract and can sign a new contract. Attorneys must determine whether their client understands and is signing willingly.
In advance of the meeting with the attorney, prepare a budget for your father. Show the amount of expenses you incur monthly having your dad living in your home e.g. gas, food, services such as laundry, cleaning his room, driving him places, etc. Total it up and it probably amounts to a lot more than $1,000.
Remember that you do not need to explain yourself to your sister! Your dad's money, and what he does with it, is his business. That he lives with you now makes it your business as well in the event that you need in-home help for him or memory care at some point. I hope you have durable power of attorney both medical and financial. If not, inquire with the attorney.
When I worked Elder Care I made about $800 a month, part time!! I did not live in--just hourly work.
Yep, go get that contract revisited. Sis is up in the night.
My mom's next-door neighbor is currently paying $20,000 a month for similar care.
I give any sibling to come in and do half of what you do, and they will get tired, want a break.
Thank you for doing what you do but please make sure to take care of you.
God Bless.