I cook 3 meals a day. Give his showers. Wash clothes. Pay all his Bill's. Take him to Dr.'s. I do everything for him.
His dementia is getting worse. He gets around with his Walker. He uses the bathroom fine. No pull ups. Eats very good
Sleeps a little more. My sister has a problem with the amount of money I receive. He saw a lawyer and he drew up a contract and specified the amount. She's accusing me that with his dementia I set the amount.
Contract was drawn up almost 2 years ago. What do I do? She says $300.00 a month is plenty and I'm taking his money. She does not help me with any of his care and never offers.
2. Tell her to research the cost of finding someone to come to his home and do this.
3. Ignore her.
Your dad must have known what crap your sister was going to start. I hope he has other affairs lined up with his attorney.
Did you word your response correctly?
https://www.aarp.org/livable-communities/learn/health-wellness/info-12-2012/metlife-study-caregiving-costs-working.html
Part of elder law specialty is Medicaid planning. As long as there is an agreement Medicaid allows payment that is comparable to what home care costs from an agency.
This study on the cost of caregiving to the caregiver may be helpful to help understand the financial impact of caregiving.
https://www.aarp.org/livable-communities/learn/health-wellness/info-12-2012/metlife-study-caregiving-costs-working.html
I don’t think you’ll ask for more, which you’re certainly entitled to- but your sisters selfish bullying has got to stop. Send her a message, explaining that you’re giving her one last shot to be supportive with your dad’s decision to pay you. Anything less than “thank you so much for taking care of our dad” - or you’re blocking her. She can come visit your dad, but you are entitled to cut this negativity out of your life.
Good luck with everything. When it’s all said and done, you can go to sleep at night with a clear conscience. Your sister, well, let’s hope she snaps out of it.
See a lawyer yourself. Are you his POA and Proxy? If you are you don’t have to volunteer information to no one.
Tell your inconsiderate sister to take care of her Dad full time or
hire full time caregivers around the clock, that’s 24/7 of paying for outside help for someone with Dementia bc he can’t be left alone, see if it comes out to $1000 a month OR more like $4000 a month.
She should keep her mouth shut when she doesn’t know what it entails.
Good luck with all that.
Stay safe & healthy.
Even if you found a private caregiver, it's on average $15/day. It's lower since they don't have to share the wage with the care agency. However doing the math it's still, at just 10 hours a day, $4,500 per month. And you'd still have to be there the other 14 hours.
Care is one of our biggest financial issues in our country. You're a gem for being with your dad in the first place, and especially for that small sum.
As mentioned, call some home care places and get a quote emailed to you and send to your sister. That should cool things off.
It's funny how those who don't help have lots of opinions on the matter.... Tell your sister she can do it all for $300 a month. :-)
I make 3,000.00 a month.
You are UNDERPAID
I had to get 24 7 Care for my 96 yr old Dad do he could continue living in his own home and it took me a super long time to find someone to do this for $512 per week using a few Caregivers.. most Caregivers want a minimum of $12 an hr up to $25. I'm paying $9 but $12 on Holidays.
Whole I was looking, I did find another lady that would do Live In for $500 a week but I would have to furnish her food, own bedroom and bathroom and she would be able to take one 24 hr day off per month.
You should offer the job to your sister and see how fast she runs from it.
My 87 y/o father, who has dementia, lives with me, and I do everything for him too. I can assure you that $1,000 per month is not too much! If anything, it's not enough! I would tell your sister to go ahead and keep him for a month, and then decide if it's worth it. Tell her to look at prices at Memory Care facilities! They run anywhere from 4-6k per month! This is not an easy job, and it will get worse with time. It is very stressful too. I'm sure you could get an easier part time job for that amount. $1k per month is 12k per year. Who can even live on that? People who have not been in your position have no idea how difficult it is! It is a 24/7 job!