After my mom passed away my dad went into a depression. He depended on her to feed and guide him for the last 50 years. I told him he could come stay with us until he’s strong and I would help him back to feeling okay enough to live independently. Well.. 8 months later.. my dad depends on me making him breakfast every morning lunch and dinner. I was happy to do that for awhile but whenever I mention learning to do these things on his own he ignores it. Like he can’t bare the thought. Then he’ll tell me he has all these plans and never takes steps towards them just sits in his room all day watching tv or on the computer. I know he is depressed. He talks to a counselor every other week. Sometimes it feels like manipulation. I’m burning out!! My health has been declining since taking this on and I’m just looking for advice and opinions here. Thank you
God give you strength and grace to do the right thing for the sake of eternity.
Sirach 3
Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition
Duties toward Parents
3
Listen to me your father, O children;
and act accordingly, that you may be kept in safety.
2
For the Lord honored the father above the children,
and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons.
3
Whoever honors his father atones for sins,
4
and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure.
5
Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children,
and when he prays he will be heard.
6
Whoever glorifies his father will have long life,
and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother;
7
he will serve his parents as his masters.[a]
8
Honor your father by word and deed,
that a blessing from him may come upon you.
9
For a father’s blessing strengthens the houses of the children,
but a mother’s curse uproots their foundations.
10
Do not glorify yourself by dishonoring your father,
for your father’s dishonor is no glory to you.
11
For a man’s glory comes from honoring his father,
and it is a disgrace for children not to respect their mother.
12
O son, help your father in his old age,
and do not grieve him as long as he lives;
13
even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance;
in all your strength do not despise him.
14
For kindness to a father will not be forgotten,
and against your sins it will be credited to you;
15
in the day of your affliction it will be remembered in your favor;
as frost in fair weather, your sins will melt away.
16
Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer,
90 minutes away. I've had to pull off the road and sleep.
I've cried a lot and felt very disappointed in the lack of care for my welfare (by failure to clean up earlier in life) in reaching this point. It's been lonely. I've had one fall and many sore muscles. Mum does sometimes grasp the impact, Dad is unable to comprehend.
Do not put your current welfare at risk. Your Dad needs to go into respite care to get perspective. Best wishes.