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We have trouble catching him before he does it. We ask if he needs to go to bathroom he says no and then next second you find him going anywhere but the toilet! Suggestions appreciated.
Rather than ask if he needs to go to the bathroom, tell him it's time to go because [insert reason, e.g. it's nearly lunchtime, we'll be going out shortly, you won't want to miss the game later, etc.] and escort him there. Do this on a schedule and you should cut back on quite a lot of the incidents.
Another option is to purchase onsie or anti-strip clothes for people with dementia/alz so that he won't be able to urinate unassisted. www.silverts.com
A friend of mine had this problem with her husband. FTD was his diagnosis. She tossed out a LOT of potted plants! Clothing that is more difficult for him to get out of. Although that does present a problem as it is more difficult for you to get him out of the clothing to help him change. Rather than asking if he has to go to the bathroom start taking him to the bathroom and just tell him to try to go. More supervision in the bathroom. Close off any rooms that are rarely used. Lock doors if possible or place hook and eye closures up high. (people do not look up for locks) Is he living with you or at his home with your mom? If it is with mom this might be getting to be more than she can handle and placement might be an option to help ease things for your mom. If he is living in your home I might say the same thing as this will continue until it gets past this point. For many "problems" often the "solution" is that that one problem will stop when the decline reaches a point where he can no longer do what he was doing. In this case when he can not or will not walk. Or when he no longer realizes he has to urinate.
When people suffer from Dementia they become like children. I do not ask my 8 yr old grandson if he needs to go to the bathroom, the answer will be NO. I tell him to "go to the bathroom" before we go anywhere. I eventually did not expect my Mom to make any decisions. We did the Diner once a week. From the beginning I realized she couldn't read a menu. So I chose 2 things I knew she liked and had her pick one. Eventually making a decision on 2 things was too much so I just ordered her favorite every time we went. She was happy.
You may want to get into the habit of taking Dad to the bathroom every two hours. Think of it as potty training.
When Mom was in rehab one time the Therapist would come in and ask if Mom she wanted to go to therapy. Mom said no the therapist went to leave. I told the therapist I didn't understand why they asked when the answer would probably always be no. I said can't you say "Come on Mrs E, time for therapy". Saying it that way Mom would have gone. I don't see why you can't say "Dad time for the bathroom".
I hope you have him in pull ups. Maybe pull on pants with no "fly". If he drinks tea or soda, cut them out. Both irritate the bladder and make u go more often.
JoAnn thank you for the advice. Both my mom and I are taking him to the bathroom regularly, but the challenge is he will not go or will not sit down and then next thing we know he goes somewhere else. He does go in the bathroom or urinal but we have had more increasing ocurrences where he goes other places. Will keep trying but we understand things will probably get worse it is just so frustrating at times... Thanks everyone for your advice we are like a deer blinded by lights trying to learn...
You've gotten some great suggestions thus far, but I'm going to play devils advocate. If your father is now peeing all over the house, where ever he pleases,(and I know it's expensive to get furniture cleaned all the time, and the smell doesn't always get out of things)it may well be time to look into placing him in the appropriate facility, as incontinence is often the straw that will break the camels back.
Otherwise you may want to talk to his urologist about getting a supra pubic(permanent)catheter, or even a condom catheter, as then you will only have to empty his bag several times a day. No one wants to be cleaning up pee all day every day, from places it should never be. I wish you the best.
When peeing all over the place starts it is soon followed by crapping all over too. It's time to look at care facility placement. If the person whose dementia has gotten to the point where they will piss anywhere and they're still mobile, keeping them at home isn't workable anymore. In the meantime, you'd do well to get rid of any wall-to-wall carpeting in the house and put plastic or waterproof nylon covers on all the furniture. It's easier to clean it up off a hard surface like a bare floor or a plastic couch cover. Look at care facilities though.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Clothing that is more difficult for him to get out of. Although that does present a problem as it is more difficult for you to get him out of the clothing to help him change.
Rather than asking if he has to go to the bathroom start taking him to the bathroom and just tell him to try to go. More supervision in the bathroom.
Close off any rooms that are rarely used. Lock doors if possible or place hook and eye closures up high. (people do not look up for locks)
Is he living with you or at his home with your mom? If it is with mom this might be getting to be more than she can handle and placement might be an option to help ease things for your mom. If he is living in your home I might say the same thing as this will continue until it gets past this point. For many "problems" often the "solution" is that that one problem will stop when the decline reaches a point where he can no longer do what he was doing. In this case when he can not or will not walk. Or when he no longer realizes he has to urinate.
You may want to get into the habit of taking Dad to the bathroom every two hours. Think of it as potty training.
When Mom was in rehab one time the Therapist would come in and ask if Mom she wanted to go to therapy. Mom said no the therapist went to leave. I told the therapist I didn't understand why they asked when the answer would probably always be no. I said can't you say "Come on Mrs E, time for therapy". Saying it that way Mom would have gone. I don't see why you can't say "Dad time for the bathroom".
I hope you have him in pull ups. Maybe pull on pants with no "fly". If he drinks tea or soda, cut them out. Both irritate the bladder and make u go more often.
Otherwise you may want to talk to his urologist about getting a supra pubic(permanent)catheter, or even a condom catheter, as then you will only have to empty his bag several times a day.
No one wants to be cleaning up pee all day every day, from places it should never be. I wish you the best.
If the person whose dementia has gotten to the point where they will piss anywhere and they're still mobile, keeping them at home isn't workable anymore.
In the meantime, you'd do well to get rid of any wall-to-wall carpeting in the house and put plastic or waterproof nylon covers on all the furniture. It's easier to clean it up off a hard surface like a bare floor or a plastic couch cover. Look at care facilities though.