I hate to sound trite here but it is becoming annoying. I know he is lonely (he just moved in). We have a large house, I try to give my dd space but when the subject comes up to go to a friends house hes in the car ready to go (so to speak). My wife and I cant talk at dinner as he retains every thing on what and when we are doing or chime in gin on the next event. We do take him to cookouts with our friends when he is invited. The last one had a few seniors there so it was good for him to make connections. Its just when my buddies say to come over to the game hes thinking it includes him. At times I just take off and leave (now I feel bad). I do tell him we are doing our time and going out (we try once a week). I am trying to get him to go out on his own to civic events (lodge meetings) but he wont go without me. I hate to lie or not tell him what I am doing and now my wife and I have to play quiet when we are around (very frustrating). This weekend we will get some time away (way over due). My daughter will come to the house to watch him and the dog (he wont care for our dog while we are away but we have to watch his another pet peeve). So how do I get him to realize my friends are mine, he has been good at times to give us our space and we do make sure we include him. When my friends come over the conversation becomes taken over with the stories I have had for years. I don't want to exclude him or give him a plate of food and send him back to his room but......
Not.
;)
"Dad, we're going over to John & Debbie's on Saturday. Is there anything in particular you'd like to do while we're gone? The VFW's having a spaghetti dinner from 5 to 7:30. Maybe you're like to go?"
It won't take long for you and your wifey to resent dad's complete intrusion into your lives. And he's doing it because you let him. It's a little different when the gang's at your house . . . but, even then, if you're planning it in advance, you can give him alternatives.
Make sure his room is fit for any teenager on Planet Earth. Nice big flat screen, Lazy Boy, DVD player. On those nights you're busy when he "has nothing to do," rent him some of the oldies but goodies, leave him with a pizza, Johnny Carson DVD's on autoplay, and some popcorn. Go out and have a good time knowing that by your sharing your home with him, you're doing angel's work.
Invite some of them over to play cards with Dad. Make it a regular event, and that is when you and the wife go to dinner. Give it a try.
When my dad lived with me all of my social invitations included him. I never figured out how to get out of the house without him. And then there was the getting in the car and probably a stop along the way to use the bathroom, the getting him situated once we got there and bringing him his drink and his food.....It was work for me. I couldn't figure out a way around it but I'm glad you can. You need to.