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He is very depressed and wanting to come home. How long wil they keep him in Rehab? He really is depressed and wants to come home. Please answer me soon.

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Is he cooperating with rehab? What does his surgeon say? There should be goals that he needs to reach in order to go home? He needs to heal and have the proper skills? Can you find and afford aides to help him at home?
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anonymous966920 Oct 2021
I am depressed with him being in the Home
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Shirley you have asked this question numerous times, though this time it is hubby that is depressed. You need to figure out a way that you can be supportive of him and encouraging. That is how he will get to the point of being able to come home sooner. This is not about you, it is about his health and safety and wellbeing.
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Can you safely, adequately help him at home if he can not walk?
He is in rehab because his doctor felt that he needed PT and maybe OT to gain full or better function.
If he is cooperating then he will be able to come home when the therapists have determined that he has met or exceeded the goals set for him by the doctor.
You can, and should talk to the therapists and ask how he is doing, is he meeting goals, is he cooperating. If he isn't then you can and should explain to him that if he wants to come home he needs to work a bit harder when he is with the therapists and when he isn't he should continue to do some of the things that they are encouraging him to do.

Are you able to visit him? If so go as often as you can. Encourage him, help him do some of the exercises they want him to do. If they are trying to get him to walk...walk with him. If they are trying to get him to flex his foot, help him do that.
Visiting him will also give you a "purpose" so that you have something to look forward to and maybe you will be less depressed.
If you can't visit him find another task or project that will keep you busy.
No one wants to be in rehab, no one wants to be away from home. The faster he is able to accomplish the goals set the faster he can and will come home.
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Shirley,

According to your last post you had an appointment with a Social Worker on Friday. Did you have that meeting?

Do you have family that can help you and husband understand what is going on?

You keep asking how long they will keep him, we cannot give you that answer. Its all up to the people who are overseeing his care. And these are the people you need to talk to. Only the Social Worker can give you the answers you are asking.

I have noticed that on a previous post that you lost ur Therapist. Have you been able to find a new one? If so, I think you need to talk to them and explain the situation ur having. Maybe they can help. Maybe your PCP can help. Maybe a friend or family member can help. Our problem here is we are a forum of caregivers sharing our experiences. We come from all over the US, Canada, UK and other countries. We are not able to call the facility you husband is in and find out the information you are seeking. None of us for sure can tell you what is going on with your husband. We can only point you, hopefully, in the right direction. For now that direction is you or a family member calling the Social Worker at the facility and asking the questions you have been asking here. You really need someone where you live to help you understand how this all works.

So sorry ur going thru this.
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Shirley, You need to find out what he needs to do to reach his rehab goals for release to go home. On this forum we cannot answer that question. You need to support him healing. Your depression should not be dumped on him.
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Shirley,  

1.  Do NOT publicly post the name of the facility, for a variety of reasons, including some that are legal, especially if you criticize the facility.   If your criticisms are offensive, and if facility admins and staff become aware that you’re criticizing them publicly on a forum, they could decide to discharge your husband and force you to find another rehab facility. 

2.    Rehab assessments are based on referrals from a hospital, examination on entry, input from therapists and med pros, and other issues. Care conferences are held, typically at the beginning of the stay and 3+/- weeks later.  If you have questions in the interim, ask to speak with the DON (Director of Nursing), or the visiting or resident physician. 

3.  These are the people who can offer suggestions on how long he'll be in rehab, and what criteria need to be met before he can be released.  This is the best way to learn of the care plan for your husband.

4.   There is absolutely no way we strangers posting on a forum can tell you when your husband can be released.

5.   It's not surprising he's depressed.   Ask to speak with the Activities Director at the facility, and find out if there are musical activities performed for the residents, and if animal therapy is provided.   Work to alleviate his depression.   Ask family and friends to send him cards (that always cheered my father, but music and pets were the most effective).

I e-mailed friends and family every time my mother, father or sister went to rehab, and they came to visit him, sent cards, called, and made major contributions to alleviating any depression that might otherwise have developed.  A cousin brought a large bulletin board with push pins for cards. We placed it in a prominent place and visitors looked through the cards, commented and contributing to the verbal interaction which helped alleviate depression.  Members of his church also prayed with him. 

If you’re Jewish, can you get a rabbi or someone from the temple to visit him?

6.  If your husband came home now, or earlier than the planned release, how would you care for him since he apparently is unable to put weight on his foot?  Can you afford to hire physical and occupational therapists, and a nurse as well as perhaps a social worker once their recommended period of home care is exhausted?   

7.   First time rehab experiences can be frightening, confusing, and unsettling.  I would consider asking to speak with a social worker, or even the DON if she’s available, to ask about their procedures for evaluation, and how YOU can help your husband with his depression.   Also ask people in your congregation to visit him – put out the word.  

8.   How often are you visiting him, and when you do, do you ask staff to help him into a wheelchair so you can take him around the facility, or perhaps outside?    You too can make a good contribution to his healing.   Learning how to work with rehab staff can be a positive experience.

I always tried to get to know the staff, especially the aides, so that they felt appreciated and gave my father good service and attention.    During one visit, one of the aides spoke with a Russian accent, so I greeted her and said good-bye in Russian.   She was soo excited just to hear her native language spoken by an American!   And she gave my father extra attention.

It takes awhile to acclimate to the environment of rehab; consider it a learning experience for both of you, and try to maximize what you can do to help him.  


I wish your husband rapid healing, and success to both of you in facing this apparently new challenge.
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Cover99 Oct 2021
Wishful thinking most of what you posted Lol
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Shirley, correct me if I am wrong, but are you worried that you will need to do everything for your hubby when he comes home? Is that something he expects? Or something that you routinely do for him but now with more added items?

Some folks need tough love in order to improve. Being in rehab is better then trying rehab at home because the therapist cannot carry in the gym equipment that helps speed up the rehab. My Dad tried rehab at home but when the therapist left he didn't go any of the required exercise. Next time Dad was placed in rehab and he actually enjoyed being there. He recovered so much quicker as the therapist were making sure he was doing his exercises.
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Is it your husband or you that is having the hardest time with this emotionally? The two are bound to be interconnected but right now it’s your husband that needs you to be strong and supportive so that he can focus on healing. I imagine you want him to have the best recovery possible and right now it sounds like that means a rehab facility so that he can get more concentrated PT and care. I’m guessing they explained that while he could get PT at home 2 maybe 3 times a week in this rehab facility he can get it once or twice a day and this is the most important time to get as much PT as possible. That putting aside the other help he probably needs that would then fall on you if he were home and that might not be possible for you to take on or it might be that some of those things he’s not ready to have his wife take on. Insurance is only going to cover this for a window of time and he has to be making progress for that to remain open so again, you need to do everything you can do to help him through this. Usually you are able to spend a lot of time there with him if you choose so maybe that would help you both but if they recommended he stay in that meeting I would heed their advice, it isn’t easy for them to justify keeping a patient longer than necessary and their job is to get him back to the best shape possible. Hang in there and try to focus your energy on supporting him which hopefully will help your emotional well being as well.
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This question has changed since I posted. When I responded the full name of the facility was there. Then my second post only the home. I thought maybe the Administrator changed that. Now not even that is listed.

Shirley has posted several times with the same answers but no replies to those answers.
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JoAnn, hands up - it's me.  I requested the Admins delete the reference to the specific home.  While the OP's comments aren't heavily damaging, they are somewhat negative.   People should NEVER specifically identify where they or their loved ones, are, especially when the accompanying comments are negative.

In addition, there's so much online snooping that we never know who's prowling around, gathering information that could be used negatively.  With her and her husband's name, the city of residence, someone with nefarious intents could do some inappropriate snooping, and/or make unexpected illegal visits to the home when Shirley's away visiting her husband.

That's one of the reasons I didn't have an obituary published with a funeral date when my father died.    Anyone reading it would know that his home is vacant, and mine would be for that day.  I've been robbed once; that's more than enough. 

I stand by my request to delete the specific name of the rehab center.
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Shirley checking in are you ok?

The facility has in house resources that you can tap into. If there is a social worker there, that person could talk to you and offer you assistance, all you have to do is ask. Do it!
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Shirley, have you spoken to the social worker at the facility about how to best support your husband while he is in rehab?

Are you able to visit him?
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Shirley, this is the 3rd or 4th time you've posted the same question. Please speak with the social worker at his facility for best answers to this question.
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Shirley1946...I and others have responded to your question in the other posts but I have to ask this...
How are you doing? I know it is difficult to have a life partner away for what seems to be forever. When my Husband was in rehab I was lucky enough to be able to visit him every day and help him. AND I had friends that kept in touch with me and I kept busy.
Are you able to visit him and are your friends keeping in touch with you to see how you are doing? If not you might want to give a friend a call. Being a caregiver is difficult and you often don't have time for friends so they stop calling. It might be time for you to make a call and maybe invite someone for coffee.
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This is something that you should bring to the attention of his doctor.

Have you had any cognitive testing done for yourself? Asking the same question four times and never responding to anyone's post makes me worried for you. Do you have someone to help you?
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My Husband had the foot surgery in September 2 times. Heis in rehab for antibiotics and cannot put pressure on his foot. He is doing physical therapy. He says he does not feel good. He is very depressed. Yesterday He did not shave stopped reading the newspaper also does not turn on the tv. He wants to come home. What should I do?
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If he has to have help with everything, he is where he belongs. Or do you have funds for an at home aid to help him?
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Shirley,

There are people at the Rehab that can help you. You really need to talk to the SW who is assigned to your husband. I am sure that Social Worker will give you all the information you need. Its Rehab that determines when your husband will be released. The facility has to make sure that he can be released safely. The Social Worker can help you make sure everything is in place for his homecoming.

What you can do is tell you dear hubby that he can't come home until he does the work he needs to do. I would talk to the Nurse about his depression.

The Social Worker at Rehab is the one you should be talking to about any concerns you have. She is better aware of what is going on with your husband because she/he can talk to his nurses. You may want to discuss with her about how him being there is effecting you too.

So sorry you and hubby are going thru this.
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I can't really blame him, this is kind of a bad time being in rehab, not only because of COVID, but the shorter days as well; add on that many rehabs tend to be depressing, now wonder he wants to get out of there.
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Shirley, keep in mind that foot surgery is difficult to recover from.
If you picture the body..if you have hip surgery 50% of your body weight is borne by the joint that was repaired.
If you have knee surgery about 75% of your body weight is borne by that joint.
Having foot surgery all of your body weight 100% is placed on the injured/repaired foot.
Please talk to the Social Worker and the Therapists at the rehab and discuss your concerns with them.
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Cover99 Oct 2021
Not to mention putting extra strain on the side that was not operated on.
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