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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My late husband also had aphasia after he had a massive stroke at the age of 48 and lived to be 72, and he struggled all the time to find the right word(s), so yes I did try and figure out what he was trying to tell me all the time. Sometimes I got it right and sometimes I didn't. And sometimes he would get irritated when I couldn't figure it out and sometimes he didn't, and we would just laugh about it. Although I must say that over time I did get pretty good at being a mind reader for him and was usually able to figure out what he was trying to tell me. So I say yes, try and help him find the word. It will make both your lives a little easier and hopefully keep you both from getting frustrated too often. God bless you as you walk this journey with your husband.
sometimes when I do try to help by offering a suggestion, he becomes very irritated because it is not what he means. It is difficult to see when this happens so I was unsure if I was helping or not.
This is a personal "at the moment" decision. You've been with hubby for a while, and have entered this particular "journey" with him, and so you are the EXPERT now on him. You know when his word-search is something that he is just mulling and thinking about. You know when he is expressing frustration. When the latter is present and he is looking at a Nasturtium, say and he says "Look at the color on that.....................ummmmmmmmmm...........hydrangea............no, no, no.....that's a ..............WHAT is that???!!!!" You can gently say "nasturtium?" Just answer slowly, with gentleness, and a calming tone. Or say "I am not sure what you mean?". But just keep a calming tone if able.
If the language and the aphasia is more and more a problem, ask doc for an evaluation you will attend also with OT speech therapist. There may be videos about dealing with expressive aphasia and word-searching online. Teepa Snow is great to watch for communication hints. There should be things online if you search-bar "word searching/neuro.
When this occurs for our loved ones it is very frustrating. We can't believe we can't come up with the word. It causes anxiety. So do whatever keeps things calmest and if you know what he means, don't correct. Good luck. We do the best we can.
Just my opinion if you can help in a nice respectful way then help like when they can’t find the right word or name of someone. . But often my wife would be in another world talking about things that are not true or never happened in those cases I think it is best to let it slide and not say anything.
Agree with Sample. If my wife suffered from a brain bleed and now has vascular demensia. If she is having confabulations, false memories, we try to let it go without comment. But if she wants something or help, I'll ask her to tell me more about what she wants. Recently peanut butter was her word for Kleenix... some are more difficult to discern than others. All trial and error with no ight answers. Good luck.
Only you know your father if helping would exasperate him further. I help my dad sometimes if he has a moment then leave it try a little and see if he appreciates it if not then stop
My husband has a traumatic brain injury and often struggles for the right word. He will look at me and expect me to fill in the missing word. He appreciates that rather than continuing to struggle and he can finish his thoughts. Sometimes when he is on the phone, he will even seek me out in a different room to supply the word he needs. All depends on the person. You be the judge of his frustration level. Best of luck.
Don't complicate the situation if possible. If it's really important, he'll get it out. The mind is broken and has interruptions,only he knows what he wants to say. Maybe a list of things that he might want so he can point at it? Not that he might not understand that either. Pictures of things that he usually refers to might help. I know that look though, it's not you. It's him,he's angry because he's fighting for the words that just aren't coming to him. Don't take it personally.
Starfish2295: Perhaps finding the exact word is not as important as a fine balance of keeping your DH (Dear Husband) happy, i.e. show love instead of offering a word suggestion.
My husband does the same word searching. I wait a bit and see if he can find the words he's looking for. If he can't and looks frustrated, I then try to help. Usually he's happy when I fill in the blanks.
My sister has stage IV breast cancer but no mental diagnosis. She calls everything “a pump” when she can’t recall a word. Or she will say “oh, you know”. There are times I just have to tell her I don’t know what she is referring to. It can get very frustrating. I try to let her fnd the word, but I find others looking to me to understand her and that makes her upset. We just do the best we can.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
And sometimes he would get irritated when I couldn't figure it out and sometimes he didn't, and we would just laugh about it.
Although I must say that over time I did get pretty good at being a mind reader for him and was usually able to figure out what he was trying to tell me.
So I say yes, try and help him find the word. It will make both your lives a little easier and hopefully keep you both from getting frustrated too often.
God bless you as you walk this journey with your husband.
You've been with hubby for a while, and have entered this particular "journey" with him, and so you are the EXPERT now on him.
You know when his word-search is something that he is just mulling and thinking about.
You know when he is expressing frustration.
When the latter is present and he is looking at a Nasturtium, say and he says "Look at the color on that.....................ummmmmmmmmm...........hydrangea............no, no, no.....that's a ..............WHAT is that???!!!!" You can gently say "nasturtium?"
Just answer slowly, with gentleness, and a calming tone.
Or say "I am not sure what you mean?". But just keep a calming tone if able.
If the language and the aphasia is more and more a problem, ask doc for an evaluation you will attend also with OT speech therapist. There may be videos about dealing with expressive aphasia and word-searching online. Teepa Snow is great to watch for communication hints. There should be things online if you search-bar "word searching/neuro.
When this occurs for our loved ones it is very frustrating. We can't believe we can't come up with the word. It causes anxiety. So do whatever keeps things calmest and if you know what he means, don't correct.
Good luck. We do the best we can.
then leave it
try a little and see if he appreciates it
if not then stop
know”. There are times I just have to tell her I don’t know what she is referring to. It can get very frustrating. I try to let her fnd the word, but I find others looking to me to understand her and that makes her upset. We just do the best we can.