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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Patience, don't argue with him. Let him be right. When doing this you do have to be sneaky. He cannot reason or problem solve any longer.
Take over bill paying? Make payments online. Do not mail checks that he makes out. Destroy them in the envelopes. You will never win this argument. Find a work around.
Do you have POA and or joint ownership on all your accounts?
If not you need to sort this out asap. Then you need to take over the finances. Pay the bills online, intercept the mail coming and going.
My step dad was an accountant. When he got dementia he continued to be treasurer for a provincial organization, but eventually it become apparent that he was unable to continue to do the work. It was very hard for him to acknowledge, but as it was not his money he was accounting for, it was imperative that he stop. Mum had always taken care of the house hold finances, so that was ok.
Agree with not really discussing this with him, just slowly transition to auto bill payments online, intercepting the mail, removing most (but not all) the checks from his checkbook and hiding the rest and extra blanks. In fact you may want to create a separate checking account for which he doesn't have checks and move most of the funds into that new one. Just keep a minimum amount of money in the original one in case he writes out an inappropriate check or he is scammed, then the loss is mitigated. Think about purchasing a small, rolling fire-proof file that locks and put both of your sensitive paperwork in it. Maybe consider removing all but one cc from his wallet, and/or his ATM card. If he has a cell phone make sure his number is registered on the National Do Not Call list, etc. We did this for my in-laws when we discovered they were both in a tailspin of decline at the same time. My stepFIL was very uncooperative and so I we didn't feel "bad" employing this type of strategy -- it was to protect the both of them.
Also agree to make sure you are his durable PoA (and that he has a younger, local back-up person as well if you and your husband are close in age). You should also make sure to ask each of his doctors for the Medical Representative form on which he designates you as his representative. He must sign the form and it gets returned to the doc's office. This allows the docs and staff to discuss all of his medical info with you without him present and for them to receive/act upon info you give them. It is different than just being medical PoA. And please make sure all your protective legal paperwork is also in place. A 1-hour consult with an elder law attorney who does estate planning would be well worth the price. At 78 your hubby is still sort of "young" and may eventually need Medicaid for his care. This is something you must prep for in advance to ensure he qualifies should he ever need it, and you are also protected. I wish you success in managing the finances and peace in your heart as you journey dow this path together.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Take over bill paying? Make payments online. Do not mail checks that he makes out. Destroy them in the envelopes. You will never win this argument. Find a work around.
If not you need to sort this out asap. Then you need to take over the finances. Pay the bills online, intercept the mail coming and going.
My step dad was an accountant. When he got dementia he continued to be treasurer for a provincial organization, but eventually it become apparent that he was unable to continue to do the work. It was very hard for him to acknowledge, but as it was not his money he was accounting for, it was imperative that he stop. Mum had always taken care of the house hold finances, so that was ok.
Also agree to make sure you are his durable PoA (and that he has a younger, local back-up person as well if you and your husband are close in age). You should also make sure to ask each of his doctors for the Medical Representative form on which he designates you as his representative. He must sign the form and it gets returned to the doc's office. This allows the docs and staff to discuss all of his medical info with you without him present and for them to receive/act upon info you give them. It is different than just being medical PoA. And please make sure all your protective legal paperwork is also in place. A 1-hour consult with an elder law attorney who does estate planning would be well worth the price. At 78 your hubby is still sort of "young" and may eventually need Medicaid for his care. This is something you must prep for in advance to ensure he qualifies should he ever need it, and you are also protected. I wish you success in managing the finances and peace in your heart as you journey dow this path together.