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thank you for your reply. I have researched the stages of Demetria, I have been supported my husband with placing ads, hiring, educating him on the stages of Demetria. Yes, my mother in law liked me before she started the progression into this disease.
based on my profession, as a psychotherapist, I’m aware of stress, empathy and I’m fully aware of codependency and unhealthy boundaries.
My husband made a commitment to me that he would make our marriage his main priority and he is not open to long term AI care.
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Ahmijoy Aug 2018
Then perhaps you may want to consider marriage counseling. If he doesn’t want to go, go by yourself. If he refuses to make good on his promise of making your marriage his main priority, he refuses to acknowledge your feelings of disconnection and also refuses to place his mother in a facility, you may need to do a rethink of your own priorities.
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Did you understand that MIL was part of the package when you married your husband? I’m not saying that putting you second is right, but you had to know what you were getting into on some level at least. Did Mom ever like you even before she was diagnosed with dementia? Sometimes when a person has dementia their feelings and emotions are magnified.

You may need to do some research on dementia to better understand what your husband is going through with his mom. Do you help him take care of her or does he do everything for her when the caregivers aren’t there? Caregiving for a parent with dementia is a stressful, emotional and extremely difficult undertaking. Even with caregivers, watching a parent decline is heartbreaking. I’m sure he is aware of not paying enough attention to you without being reminded. Suggest a lunch date while the caregivers are there. Support him and when you do your reasearch on the stages of dementia, tell him you understand what he’s going through.
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